Villain
by Villain-or-hero
Summary: Malfoy switched sides in the final battle, now back at Hogwarts to retake his final year he finds himself hated by everybody, Gryffindors and Slytherins alike. His assets frozen and his parents on the run, he has nothing left. Hermione Granger, the girl he gave up everything to save, is the only person who will reach out to him. Why did he do it? Why did he save her? A muggle born
1. Chapter 1

**Villain**

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, any of the characters, books, or films nor am I making any profit off of them.

Notes: I'm new to this fandom, and perhaps a little late to it as well, though I started reading the books in 1998, recently I've come back to reread them all (for maybe the third time) and this story entered my mind, demanding to be written, the entire thing has been laid out and planned, perhaps 15 chapters in total. I have tried to keep this as close to the original as possible, but as you will see, I have changed a small segment of what happened in the battle of Hogwarts.

Rating: This will be a T for most of the story, but there will be a few mature scenes in future chapters hence the M rating. So do be aware, and I will listed warnings at the top of all new chapters.

Chapter One

She didn't think she'd ever spent so long just looking at a person. There were people she saw all day, like Ron and Harry, but she didn't just look at them, she listened to them, she talked to them, played games, argued, lectured them, but actually very little time was spent solely looking at them. It seemed such an intimate thing, just to look at somebody. Especially here, in the hospital wing, where he lay unawares of her eyes drifting over his face.

He was so pale, she knew that he had always been pale, but this was something different, this was as if all the blood had been leached from his body. She could see blue veins whispering under the skin of his cheeks, the brief bristle of hair moving as he breathed from between blue tinged lips. Despite how still he was, there was nothing peaceful about him, the white skin, white sheets, and white hair were betrayed by the shocking red streaks in his hair, dried to rusty brown in places, but still an unnerving reminder of the violence that had passed.

Hermione knew that by now people would be looking for her, trying to seek comfort in the people that were still alive today, knowing that there were some people untouched by this, at least physically. She knew that there were other people, here, in this hospital wing that deserved her vigil more than the boy lying in front of her. She knew that soon the hospital wing would become once again full of the grieving and inconsolable, the castle would be waking up from the dreamless sleep that Madame Pomfrey's potions provided them. They would wake up and realize that the sun had risen once more, but in rising it had revealed the bodies of death eater as yet uncollected, crumbled walls, and children who had grown up all too quickly. They would mourn before they would rebuild, and she doubted that any of them would feel any happiness in their new found freedom for the next few months.

She could hear footsteps echoing in the halls beyond the hospital wing now. She did not have long before the quiet was disturbed, and yet, she still couldn't move. She still didn't have an answer. Why had he done it? She looked back at the face of the boy who she had learnt to hate and pity in equal measures. The boy who had spent years tormenting her, the boy who was the total opposite of all that she and her friends were. The boy, who yesterday, had stood up to Voldermort, changing sides at the last moment.

 _He looked like he was asleep. Cradled like a small child in Hagrid's oversized arms her friend, Harry, was dead._

 _The fight that she had unknowingly been drawn into six years ago was over._

 _They had lost._

" _Harry Potter is dead. He was killed as he ran away, trying to save himself while you lay down your lives for him. We bring you his body as proof that your hero is gone. The battle is won. You have lost half of your fighters. My Death Eaters outnumber you, and the Boy Who Lived is finished. There must be no more war. Anyone who continues to resist, man, woman or child, will be slaughtered, as well every member of their family. Come out of the castle now, kneel before him, and you shall be spared. Your parents and children, your brothers and sisters will live and be forgiven, and you will join me in the new world we shall build together._ "

 _Hermione was barely aware of the despair rippling around her. She was barely aware of anything, it seemed like her whole world had shrunken to that limp figure whom Hagrid was gently lying on the floor. There had been a prophesy, there had been a plan, there had been the trust that good would triumph over evil, now, there was nothing._

 _She was aware that a cry had escaped her lips. Then there was a wall of noise as others cried out in despair and defiance. She saw somebody rushing forwards wand raised, and she barely had time to register that it was Neville before his body got knocked backwards as if by a great force and his wand spun out of his hand. Not Neville too, she thought to herself, but the boy got up seemingly unharmed and stared down the tall wizard in front of him._

 _"Who is this?" Voldermort snarled._

 _"Longbottom Master." Bellatrix Lestrange said stepping forwards. "He's the son of the aurors, he's been giving the Carrows trouble all year."_

 _"Ahh, yes, Longbottom. You may think that I would want to punish you for your insolence Longbottom, but the new world is going to need strong young wizards like yourself. Especially those of pure blood. So instead, I will make you an offer. Join me Longbottom, become a deatheater, and all will be forgiven. You will have wealth and glory that you have never before dreamed of."_

 _"Never!" Neville shouted._

 _"So hasty, but that is a symptom of your youth. Perhaps I have not made the chose clear to you. Perhaps you do not understand what will happen to you if you do not side with me. "_

 _Voldermort's snake like eyes meet Hermione's, and for an instant it felt like she had been doused with ice cold water, but then there was a sickening lurch as she felt something grab at her stomach pulling her upwards in a rush. Invisible ropes snaked around her wrists and ankles so tight that they burned and tingled, her body complaining about the lack of blood. It was over in seconds and she was there, hanging three feet up in the air, facing Voldermort and his crowd of followers._

 _"This one however, this one is a mudblood, she is worthess to me. She will be the first in the cleanse. Today we celebrate the coming of the age of the pure borns."_

 _Voldermort raised his wand._

 _Hermione knew that it was the end. Thoughts of her parents flashed through her mind and she was relieved that they were happy in Austraila, and would not mourn her. She closed her eyes waiting for the end._

 _"Not her! Expelliarmus! "_

 _She opened her eyes in shook, not at the words, but at whom the voice belonged to. There was a red flash and for an instant Voldermorts wand hand shook, but there was little more effect than that. With a vengeful smile on his face he turned slowly to look at the teenage boy behind him._

 _Draco Malfoy stared with wide eyes at his outstretched wand arm, as shocked as everybody around him. There was stunned silence as Voldermort's lipless mouth twisted into a smile._

 _The white and black haired woman stood to Draco's side screamed wordlessly, the truth of what was about to happen sinking into her mind._

 _"Sectumsempra."_

 _Hermione watched as huge slashes appeared on Draco's body, his robes torn as if invisible claws ripped at his body. The onslaught only lasted seconds, but the damaged it left was horrendous. It was not the clean easy death of the killing curse, this was a flaying. Strips of skin peeled from Draco's chest, the muscles underneath laid bare. The last flicker of Voldermort's wand had left a wide, open wound up the side of Draco's neck, and it was this he clutched at as he gurgled blood and collapsed to his knees._

 _There was silence as Voldermort turned back to Hermione, his cool demeanour flickering._

 _"I apologise for the brief pause to this evening's entertainment. "_

 _There was a short forced laugh from a few members of the crowd of deatheaters._

 _"Crucio."_

 _Hermione has expected pain, but none had come. She couldn't understand why the curse had not worked. At first she thought the murmur of surprise that had run through the crowd was because the curse had failed, perhaps Voldermort was losing power for some reason. But then she noticed a movement below and in front of her. And she looked down to see a twitching and blood soaked bundle of robes, indistinguishable if not for the flash of white hair._

 _She looked over to the crowd of deatheater, and there, where moments before Draco had be kneeling, was only mother, her arm reaching out in silent plea, her face tormented as if it were she herself who were undergoing the pain of the cruciatus curse._

 _Hermione looked back down, with nothing to stem the blood the pool of red surrounding Malfoy was growing at an alarming rate. She hadn't known a person could lose that much blood and still be alive, and as she watched his trembling lessened as if she was watching the very life drain out of him. Draco Malfoy, had just took the cruciatus curse for her, more than that, Draco Malfoy had tried to save her, Hermione Granger, a muggle born._

 _"Petrificus.."_

 _There was a flash of blue light and Hermione looked up just as Neville flew backward once again. He had found his wand in the distraction that Draco had caused, but he had not been quick enough._

 _"I guess I can take that as your final answer. On your head be it." Voldermort snarled at him. He raised his wand. For a few moments nothing happened, then the sorting hat flew from one of the smashed windows of the castle, and gracefully placed itself upon Neville's head._

 _"There will be no more sorting at Hogwarts school, there will be no more houses. The emblem, shield and colours of my noble ancestor Salazar Slytherin, will suffice for everyone, won't they, Mr Longbottom? Neville here is now going to demonstrate what happens to anybody foolish enough to continue to oppose me."_

 _Hermione watched in horror as the flames rose up from beneath the hat, Neville her friend, so brave just moments before, started to scream._

"Granger."

The hoarse voice woke her out of her memories. She blinked staring around her, for a moment surprised to find herself inside and firmly upon a chair. They were just memories, but they were so sharp, so real that she could still smell the bitterness of burning hair. Still hear the screams. But it was not screams that she had heard, it was a voice, her name. She looked down to the bed beside her and found herself meet with two ice blue eyes staring back. He was awake.

 _If you have made it to the end of this chapter, then I thank you for you attention. Please review, or follow if you want to see what happens next. I am hoping the next chapter will be up by Wednesday._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Hermione had never been popular. As a young child she didn't have friends, however hard she tried she just couldn't get people to like her. So, instead of friends she spent time with her books. The books didn't judge her, and the books were full of faraway places that she would one day visit. Places where she might find friends, places where she might belong.

Then one day she came home from primary school to find Professor Flitwick sat on her parent's sofa drinking peppermint tea. That day she found out she was a witch, and the reason she had no friends, the reason she didn't fit in, was suddenly clear. She didn't fit in because this was not the world she was meant to fit into. She was a witch, and she would go to Hogwarts, and she would make loads of friends. But first, she needed books; if she was going to be a witch she would need to read all the books teaching her how to be one.

On her first day at Hogwarts everything seemed to be going to plan. Her research was paying off, and although it was only her second time seeing magic (the first being when she went to pick up her books at Diagon alley) she felt she held her own. Then she was sorted into Gryffindor, as were four other girls, and she would be spending the next seven years sharing a dorm room with her. It would be like having a readymade group of friends.

Except, she hadn't read the right things, because when she had tried to start a conversation about wrist movements in transfiguration they gave her an empty smile, nodded politely and then started to talk about their favourite wizard bands. Hermione had no idea about popular wizarding culture, she tried to ask about their opinions on centaur rights but the girls shrugged and talked about a band called the half centaurs. She tried to tell herself that she would make a better impression the next day, but as she lay with her curtains closed round her bed she overheard a whispered conversation between Lavender Brown and Parvarti.

"She's a weird one."

"She's a muggle born isn't she? Maybe she just doesn't know how to ..like talk normal."

"They don't all have hair like that do they?"

"Well, they don't have hair straightening potions."

"But did she have to ask about politics? Like, that's the type of thing my parents talk about, how boring. I hope she doesn't always act like that, I mean, can you imagine having to talk about that stuff every night."

"Maybe the sorting hat got it wrong, maybe she's meant to be in Ravenclaw."

"Maybe we can get them to resort her if we ask. Anyways, what do you think of the bys, Harry Potter is quite cute isn't he?"

On the morning of Lavenders funeral, this was the memory that would not leave her alone. There, at the first funeral she had been to since she was five, stood at the back of the crowd in the graveyard full of Griffindors past and present, she couldn't stop her thoughts going back to that night. Six years sharing a room with Lavender Brown, and the two memories that stood out in her mind were the insult she felt she had been dealt the first night in the wizarding world, and Fenrir bent over her body, his hungry rasping animalistic sounds. Hermione had shot him with a jinx and he had flown through the air, she had only caught a brief glimpse of the girl that had been beneath him, but those glassy eyes now stared at her every night. She had tried to think of a positive moment that had been spent with Lavender, a moment when she had not looked at her with exasperation or irritation. But all that came to her was those two nights. Lavender Brown's biggest effect on her life, had been her death.

Hermione looked up at Ron. He looked as if his eyes were about to brim over, Hermione had never understood that relationship, Ron had found the girl annoying for the most part, but she guessed you couldn't spend three months with your tongue down some bodies throat without feeling some affection towards them. She reached over to take Ron's hand, but he had shrugged it off and shot her an annoyed look. The girl who had come between them in sixth year was coming between them again in her death.

Lavender's parents were a couple in their mid sixties. They stood next to the grave thanking everybody for being there, they had two other children in their thirties, Lavender had been a surprise, but one that they had been totally besotted with from day one. She had been their angel, their joy. Afterwards they had sought out Ron, him having been Lavender's first boyfriend, they had wanted to hear stories, wanted some memories of their daughter to hold onto. Ron had frozen; he had gapped at them wordlessly.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Hermione said. "Lavender was a lovely girl."

"She talked about you too Hermione dear, she said that you were the cleverest girl in the school. She told us that you helped her with her charms homework." Mrs Brown looked at her with a desperate expression, her eyes red from three days of crying.

Hermione tried to remember a time when she had helped Lavender with her homework, she had a vague idea that she might have done at one point, she had looked over everybody in Gryffindor's homework at one point, but she couldn't actually recall the incident her parents were talking about.

"She was brilliant at divination."

"And she had such respect for you Harry." Mr Brown said smiling kindly.

"She was a lovely girl." Harry said, parroting Hermione's own words.

They were rescued at that point by Neville. The young man had changed in the year since they had seen him, he held himself with a new confidence. He didn't hesitate in reaching out his hand to shake Mr. Brown's. He didn't flinch from their grief, instead he told them about Lavender joining Dumbledore's army. He told them that she had stood up for what she believed in, she had fought bravely, and she had been a motherly figure to the younger students over the hard year past, and yet she had still found moments to have fun, and be a teenager. He portrayed a girl much braver and deeper than Hermione had known, yet she didn't know if it was to comfort her parents or because it was true.

There would be another funeral tomorrow, and the day after, every day for weeks to come, fifty on their side had lost their lives and they had done so to protect Hogwarts. Harry had made a promise to attend each and every one's funeral, even those for whom he did not know. Hermione had suggested that it was too much, but he had insisted, so she had said she would go with him.

She was relieved when she got back to the castle and told the boys that she was going to go to the library. They hadn't questioned it, going to the library was the most natural thing for her. It was a place where she could find peace and quiet. But as she headed towards her haven she passed a painting of a healer in white and her mind drifted to Malfoy.

It had been three days since she had sat by Draco's bedside. Three days since his eyes had flickered open, he had said her name, and he had given a soft smile as he passed back into unconsciousness. She had not gone back, she was confident that he was alive. There had been a lot happening within the last few days. The castle had been empty of its younger students and yet at the same time full with the families of the injured and lost. Hermione had barely had time to eat, let alone visit the hospital wing.

But, that wasn't the only reason that she had not gone. She was still questioning why he had done it, but she felt like her mind, her own private library with all it knowledge, the place within herself she could always find sanctuary, had had enough, it didn't want any more knowledge in it. It didn't want to take in another thing, it didn't want to answer another question, it just wanted to rest, there was no room for thoughts and feelings, there was just exhaustion.

But, she knew rest would not come, not when the question was still unanswered, even when she did not want the answer.

Madame Pomfrey was sat at her desk by the door. She looked up and gave a tired welcoming smile as she walked in.

"Miss Granger, I hope you're well."

"Yes, just coming for a visit if that's alright."

"Of course, and who may I ask are you visiting?"

Hermione looked around her, the hospital wing was less full than it had been three days ago, when Madame Pomfrey had been rushing between the wing and the classes that were being used for the overfill of the injured. Now most of the injured had been moved, the worst cases having been moved to Saint Mungos, the most stable having been moved to the empty dorms where they could rest up with minimal supervision.

"Malfoy." Hermione said.

A flicker passed over Madame Pomfrey's tired face. But she soon hid it.

"I'm sure it'll be nice for him to have a visitor. But I must tell you Miss Granger that he is still not recovered from his injuries. It was not just the blood loss, his mind has been affected. I have no doubt that it will heal, but... he was a master at the curses, he had the most powerful cruciatus curse ever known. If Draco had not passed out due to the blood loss then he would have been driven permanently insane."

Hermione nodded. She had seen what the cruciatus curse could do in the form of Neville's parents.

"Is he conscious?"

"He passes in and out of consciousness, and he is aware of where he is, he is a little confused as to what has happened but I believe he is starting to understand." Madame Pomfrey had stood up as she was talking and she was leading Hermione past the curtained off beds, she knew most of the people who would be behind them. Madame Pomfrey didn't stop till the last bed on the left. She reached out and drew the curtains back.

"Mr Malfoy, I have a visitor for you."

Draco was lying in the bed; he was looking behind Madame Pomfrey, directly at Hermione. She felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny. He looked better than he had, not as pale. And the blood had been washed from his hair. She could see the bandages wrapped over one of his shoulders, and a thick pad was on his neck.

"Any trouble just call me over. "Madame Pomfrey said quietly as she turned to leave. Hermione hesitated, half behind the curtain, for a moment she just stared at the boy, looking so small in the bed. Then his eyes flickered away from her and the spell was broken. She stepped inside the curtains and drew them closed again. She looked at the chair besides the bed, but decided to stand. Standing would show that she didn't expect to stay for long.

She looked at Draco. He looked back. For a while neither of them spoke. Hermione knew that she had come here for a reason, but she didn't know how to ask. She didn't know what she would hear in return.

"Why Draco?"

Draco gave a quiet hoarse laugh. It was a laugh of self resentment, nothing humorous about it.

"It doesn't matter. It doesn't change anything. "

"What do you mean? What would you want it to change?"

"Nothing, nothing at all, you're still one of the good guys, one of the hero's. And me, I'm still a villain."

Draco had closed his eyes whilst saying this, and for a moment Hermione wondered if Madame Pomfrey was wrong, and that Draco really had lost his mind. He didn't talk to her like this, as far as she was aware he didn't talk like this full stop. She didn't quite know how to respond. But he was talking, and she had to keep him talking if she ever wanted an answer.

"Well, I think it has changed something. I'm sat here. There are people in this ward, friends of mine, people who fought with the hero's, and yet, I'm sat here. I'm sat here hoping you'll get well."

He gave a moan of acknowledgement, still not looking at her.

"Tell me Draco. You shouted 'not her', was it me you were shouting about? It seemed to be me, I was the one that Voldermort was about to attack. And you jumped in front of me when he tried to hit me with the cruciatus curse, it hit you instead. Draco, why did you do it? I want to know."

"I doesn't matter now. Nothing matters now. Does it? It's all over. He is dead isn't he?" His voice took on a hysterical sound. "Everybody is saying he's dead. But is he? They said that last time, but he came back. Did you see the body?"

"Voldermort?"

Draco nodded.

"Yes, he is dead. I saw the body. And he won't come back this time."

"Are my parents in Azkadan?"

"No. They got away. Nobody is looking for them, yet, too many people are injured."

Draco opened his eyes.

"They left me here."

Hermione was struck by the broken note of his voice. He sounded like a small boy. She saw his eyes water and she wanted to look away. She nodded.

"I am a blood traitor now. I've been a blood traitor all along. I never wanted to be a death eater. I thought being a Malfoy made me special, but he didn't see us a special, he only cared about what we could give him."

"Your mother did not want to leave you, she was distraught. I think she believed you were dead. But your father dragged her away when they saw that Harry was alive."

He shook his head. He winced with pain, his hand going towards his neck. Hermione was shocked to see that a red spot had started to form on the bandage, his neck wound still bleeding.

"I'll get Madame Pomfrey."

He shook his head.

Hermione watched as his eyes drifted closed, and for a moment he seemed to pass out of consciousness again. Then he woke with a start and looked around panicked.

She was ready to say goodbye. She really should have just left him at that point, and ask Madame Pomfrey to check on him. He was obviously struggling, but she had spent a year struggling, and it had hardened something inside of her. She tried one last time.

"Why did you do it?"

He settled onto the pillows, once again closing his eyes as if the talking was exhausting him. Hermione didn't expect him to answer, but he did.

"I was always watching the three of you. From first year, my father thought that Potter might be a powerful dark wizard, the next Voldermort. Bloody Harry Potter, and his fame, the boy who everybody liked, and why? He was a baby when Voldermort died, the first time, and he came back, so he didn't even do it right. The boy who lived, and his two friends. Do you know who I had? Crabbe and Goyle, and they only hang around with me because they're too stupid to come up with ideas of their own. Crabbe and Goyle, they're loyal in their way though. But it's not the same. They're friends because their fathers told them it would be good to get in with the Malfoys. Do you think I don't know that? Do you think I haven't always known. I was always jealous of him. Harry Potter, he doesn't have wealth, he doesn't have pure blood, his parent's were nobodies, the most important thing they ever did was dying. He's not a powerful wizard, I get better than him in every class. Did you know that? And he didn't have to be anybody, he wasn't born into a family legacy, he didn't have any responsibilities."

He did. Hermione thought, but she kept quiet. As she was listening to the bitter stream of consciousness coming from the boy his voice getting drowsier. She wasn't sure if he even realized that she was there anymore.

" I hated him for his popularity and his friends. Then In third year I started hating him for other reasons. After you hit me, I started watching you. I told myself I hated you, I was obsessed, I couldn't stop watching you. "

"You hate me."

" I try to hate you, I try so hard. "

His voice was barely a whisper now.

"I'm a blood traitor."

And he was gone, his chest raising and falling in the gentle whispers of sleep, so unlike the pain of his words.

She stood up and quietly left. She told Madame Pomfrey about the bleeding before she left. She gave a weak smile.

"He's wounds are very difficult to heal, but they will heal eventually."

As she walked up to her dorm room she thought about Malfoy's confession.

She had always known that Malfoy was jealous of Harry. It had always been obvious. And she guessed that it was obvious that he was obsessed with him too. So, what had she learnt really?

She did however feel sorry for him, and more so for his mother. She had seen the look of desperation on her face as Lucius had physically dragged her away. Harry had filled Hermione in on what had happened in the forest, how Draco's mother had lied to try and save her son. She deified Voldermort only to see her own son throw himself in front of a curse.

But it was her own parents she had to concentrate on now; with the war over she was starting to wonder when she could go back to them. She would wait a few more weeks, just to be sure that the left over death eaters were going to be to busy hiding to be attacking muggles. She had to wait, but right now, what she was desperate for was to be some bodies child again, not a soldier, not a tool in some prophecy, not even a witch. She just wanted to go back to being her parent's daughter.

Thank you for all your reviews of the first Chapter, I hope you enjoy this one. The next chapter should be up by the end of the week.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Hermione felt the burning sun on her face, she should move, it was too intensely hot. But she was too relaxed. She had been in Australia for a month, yet she was only just feeling like she was able to relax a little. Months of constant moving around, striving to find food, striving to find information, striving to keep away from snatchers, it was hard to accept it was over. Her mind had been in a constant state of anxiety for almost a year.

She still felt tired, and older than her eighteen years.

She looked down at the letter in her hand, the letter from Hogwarts, she knew she would have to reply, but not yet, she wasn't ready yet.

She had come to Australia wanting to be her parent's daughter again, she wanted to be Hermione Granger, the girl who liked books, and trips to France, and never ate sweets because she thought it was important to have good teeth. She wanted to feel like she was in control of her own life. But something had happened that she had not expected, her parents had moved on.

Of course, when she had restored her parent's memories they had fallen on her with tears. They could not understand how they could have forgotten their only child's existence for a year. It was the first time that they had been truly touched by magic, and Hermione could tell it had left them feeling fragile and insecure. She had tried to explain why she had done it, but as she had described the wizarding war, and what she had been doing with her year, but the look of horror that had grown on their faces had silenced her. She told them a shorter ending to the story, she didn't mention anybody dying, and she just said "we won, you're safe, and nobody is going to come after you now. We can go back to normal, be a family."

She noticed the look that passed between her mother and father at this, they had something to say, but they weren't going to say it, middle class British decorum meant that difficult things were often left unsaid, unless they absolutely had to be.

"We'll always be a family." Her mother answered. "We are however very disappointed in the choices you have made this year. I'm sure we will get a chance to talk about them later, but for now, my God, are we glad to have you back." She reached up and stroked her hands down Hermione's hair as if she did not quite believe that she was there.

"I'm glad that you've settled into Australia. Did you find jobs quickly? I researched it and this seemed like the best place to be."

"Wait, what are you saying?" Her mother asked with a confused smile.

Her Dad stared at her, he had always been stern, loving yes, but stern. And right now there was a look of deep inner fury that sometimes made her worry that he was heading towards a stroke.

"It means Susan, that Hermione not only decided to wipe our memories, she also decided to suggest to us that we move to Australia."

"I just thought you were going through a midlife crisis. But I thought it was good, exciting, settling down to start a new life."

"I thought that we had taught you not to play games with other people."

"I was trying to save you."

"Kevin, our daughter is home. We can shout at her later, for now I'm making your favourite butternut squash curry." She noticed the lingering look between her mother and father. "Why don't you show Hermione to the spare room? She's had a long journey."

Over the next few days there were a lot of whispered conversations that stopped when she walked in the door. And some shouted conversations that she heard through the walls, loud enough to hear the general angry tone but not loud enough to catch what the argument was about.

Her parents took a few days off work; it was a little awkward, they spent a lot of time sat at the kitchen table, not talking, and occasionally playing cards. Her mother insisted that they go shopping, and her father, always the keen botanist showed her around his garden talking about what he could and couldn't grow in the climate.

It was on the third night that she finally decided that it was time to confront them.

"Mum, Dad."

"We're having kangaroo meatballs, isn't that fun? We had them once at a neighbourhood barbeque, oh, which reminds me, we have one coming up on Saturday you should come. Everybody has been really friendly since we came. We thought we would return to work tomorrow, but I've pinned the bus timetable to the kitchen board. You must go Queen Victoria market, you can find such interesting things, don't you think Kevin."

"Stop by at the Botanical gardens."

"Yes, the botanical gardens are good, you can take a book."

"Mum, Dad, what's going on? Since I came back you've seemed unsettled."

They met each other's eyes over the table. Susan Granger put a big bowl of salad on the table.

"We need to talk."

"Okay, let's talk, because in all fairness, I can't continue to feel like a stranger with my own parents. I know that a lot has changed, I know that being a witch has put a barrier up between us, I know that I live in a different world, but I'm still me, and I'll always be me. I know this, but at the moment I don't feel like me, I feel like I've lost something, and you're my parents." Hermione's eyes started to tear up. "A lot has happened, and I feel like I can't find myself any more. You're my parents, you know who I am. I need your help. I need to find who I am again."

"Hermione." Her mother took her hand. "Of course we're you're parents, we will always be your parents. And we will help you in whatever way we can. I mean, we still have the money your grandmother left you, it was meant to be for university. It might be hard to find a subject that matches what you've been doing, maybe nutrition or biology; you said you did things with plants. I'm sure if you wanted to do botany, you're dad could give you loads of books. I mean, we're proud of you, we're proud of what you're doing. But if you don't want to do it anymore, well, we'll help. But, well, it's not that we're not happy you're back."

"Not at all." Her Dad agreed.

"But, well, when you're Dad and I moved here it was for a new start. And, one of the things we wanted, really wanted, was a baby."

Hermione stared at her parents; she couldn't take in what they were saying.

"We always wanted a child, Hermione." Her father said.

"But you have a child, I'm you're child."

"You made us forget you. We had no idea why we didn't have children. We thought that we couldn't, and with your mother being forty-three, well, we thought it was the last chance."

"We actually thought it wouldn't happen."

Hermione looked at her mother, really looked, and what she saw was a woman who looked happier and younger than she had seen her in years, she had thought that Australia was agreeing with her, but now, she was beginning to understand that it was something else.

"You're pregnant."

Her mother beamed at her, Hermione turned to look at her father, he looked wearier, but the silence told her it was true. She was floored, she had never expected her parents to have another child, they had always said that by having only one child they could give her more time and resources, that she was enough for them. It had been year since she had stopped wishing for a sibling. Another part of her felt terribly guilty had her interference in her parents' lives forced a child onto them that they would never have had if she hadn't wiped her memory of them?

"We have to find another name though, if it's a girl, we were going to call them Hermione. I knew if I ever had a daughter she would be called Hermione. That means that a part of me remembered you, doesn't it? I didn't forget you entirely. I couldn't forget you entirely. We probably wanted a child so much because we were longing for you."

"No Mum, you didn't forget me entirely." Hermione said kindly, knowing that forgetting her would be a permanent guilt in her mother's mind, just like the memory spell would be a guilt she continuously carried.

"Is it a girl?"

"We don't know yet, we had the first scan last week. But we won't know the sex for another two months."

Hermione nodded.

"A girls name then?"

"Yes. If a boy we were going to go with Sebastian."

"I'll think about it." Hermione said.

"You're okay with this aren't you Hermione? We know it's a surprise. But you know that you'll always be our daughter, and we're going to help you get sorted out, we're going to find a way to get you back on your feet. This doesn't change anything."

And yet, Hermione thought, it changes everything.

"You're going to be such a good big sister, I mean, this child is going to think you're so great, and when he or her is a teenager then we're going to be quite old, and maybe not that able to keep up, but they'll have you to have fun with."

"Yes." Hermione said with a smile. "They can come and stay with me on holidays."

"Exactly, this is something to look forwards to."

It was as if her whole life had changed, it wasn't just that she was about to become a sister, at eighteen, it wasn't that she was supposed to leave school this year; it wasn't that she had lost friends, and been tortured, and scared for life. It was that all of those things had happened in a few months and it was all too much.

That night as she had closed her eyes she could see Professor Lupin staring up at her grey faced, as she watched the skin seemed to slip from his face, melting into wax and pooling around his ears, muscles torn and bleeding, watery eyes staring.

She saw Harry lying in Hagrid's arms but this time she knew he wasn't going to come back.

She felt the invisible ropes cutting into her skin, she felt herself being yanked upwards. She was looking straight into the eyes of Voldermort, when he raised his wand Hermione looked to Draco in the crowd. He was the only person not wearing a deatheater mask, he sneered at her.

"Kill the mudblood."

She turned her head, looking for help, but where her friends were previously stood there was a wall of deatheater masks.

"She's not one of us." She heard a jeering laugh.

The ropes tightened and she felt blood trickling down her wrists.

"Crucio."

She began to scream.

"Hermione, Hermione!"

Hermione sprang back from the figure staring down at her. She could barely see, there was a window and moonlight was coming down into the room, the figure was wrapped in black robes, and she could just make out the paleness of his skin. She backed into the corner, she tried to reach for her wand but she couldn't find it.

"Hermione, it's okay."

The voice was familiar, but she didn't know where she was. Where had she been, Hogwarts?

Voldermort had been there, Harry was dead.

"Kevin."

She looked towards the doorway, it was her mother, she was sure of it. Then everything fell into place. She was at her parents' house in Melbourne. She was in the guest room, the figure on the bed was her Dad, he was wearing the black dressing gown she had given him a few Christmas's ago.

She stared between the two of them.

"I need to make a call." She said standing up.

"Hermione it's one in the morning." Her mother said stepping into the room. "Hermione, you were screaming."

"It was just a nightmare, I need to call Harry."

"Harry Potter, your school friend? Why do you need to talk to him?"

"Sue, go back to bed." Her dad said. "The doctor said you need to get plenty of rest.

"Yes, go back to bed, sorry mum."

She stared at her a little longer as if she wanted to argue but she shrugged.

"Try and get some sleep, alright."

"Aright, go to bed Mum. You need to sleep for the baby."

Her dad waited until she had left till she looked at Hermione.

"I'm going to make you some coco. But first, we need to have a conversation about what to do. Screaming at night is not normal Hermione; we need to get you help. I'm booking you in to see a doctor tomorrow, and I think that counselling would be the best."

Hermione nodded.

"What was the dream Hermione?"

"That my friend Harry was dead."

"Why? Are you romantically involved with this boy?"

"I dream that he's dead and that's the first place you go to?"

"Imagining him dead is not normal."

"I did think he was dead."

"When? What happened?"

Hermione looked up at her father, and she made the decision then which she knew was closing a door to her parents for life. They could not help her, they could not understand, they were dentists, and good people, they went to church on Sunday's, they believed in working hard, studying hard, and going on holiday to southern France every year. They gave money to children in Africa, and attended school fairs and neighbour's barbeques. They did not understand what it was to have been involved in a battle, and she didn't want them to.

"There was an accident, in the woods, he fell and hit his head. There was so much blood, so much blood on the ground, I never knew a person could lose that much blood and live." She shook her head trying to get rid of the image of Malfoy, crumpled on the ground, which had come unwanted into her mind.

"I still can't believe you spent the entire year living out in the woods. We should have sent you to Princess Helena's, they had such a dedicated language department, you would be speaking Mandarin by now. Not screaming at night and sleeping in woods. Never mind, grab the phone from the landing, I'll go make you coco, then tomorrow we'll get you to a doctor and they'll be able to give you something to sleep."

Hermione nodded, she would go to the doctor, for her parents sake. But she already had a dreamless sleep potion from Madame Pomfrey, she hadn't thought she needed it, but she'd take it from now on.

She padded out her door and grabbed the phone from the little alcove between her and her parents rooms. The mobile had been Harry's idea, he thought that sending owls half way across the globe would be a little draining for them, and that although they could use the fireplaces to talk considering that Hermione was going back to the muggle world a muggle solution might be best.

Hermione dialled the number that she had memorised. Harry took a while to pick up, when he did he sounded slightly breathless.

"Hello, Hermione?"

"Harry."

Hermione sighed with relief, he was alive. She had known that, but she had needed to hear his voice, just to stop that little moment of doubt in her mind.

"Did you get the letter? We've all been talking about it, Neville too, and although a lot has changed, we think going back to complete the OWL's might be the best idea."

"What letter?"

"You haven't received it yet? I thought that was why you were calling, wait isn't it the middle of the night over there? Hermione?"

"I just, I just couldn't sleep."

"Just a minute."

Hermione had the sense that Harry was walking, and she heard a door shutting.

"I can talk now. Nightmare?"

Hermione nodded, before realizing how pointless it was to do so.

"Yes. I just, I just wanted to hear your voice."

"I still have them too you know, I thought they would go when he was gone. But when I have them now I know that it's not him, I know that it's all over."

"But it doesn't feel over yet."

"I know it doesn't. I'm here Hermione, I'm not good at this stuff, but I will listen."

"Thank you."

"How are things with your parents?"

"They're pregnant."

"What? How is that possible?"

"When I made them forget me they got all confused about why they didn't have a child. They wanted children, and couldn't understand why they didn't have a child. So, they had a child, apparently the chances of my mother getting pregnant were very low, but it happened. I screwed up their lives Harry, I thought I was doing the best thing for them, I thought they would be safe out here. I never expected this to happen."

"Damn, that's.. that's unexpected. But you know, I think they'll love the baby, I don't think you've screwed up their lives. Damn."

"Yeah."

"You should get some sleep. Expect a Hogwarts owl tomorrow, and when it comes give me a call and we'll talk about it. "

"Okay."

"And Hermione, stop beating yourself up. This one was really unexpected, you weren't to know. "

"I'll try."

The owl had arrived the next day. It had dropped the letter in Hermione's lap as she sat outside.

 _Dear Miss Granger_

 _Given the circumstances of the past year, many of our previous NEWT students missed a part of the year, or do not feel that they received an adequate level of tutelage to be confident in receiving the marks that they deserve._

 _Therefore, we offer you two choices:_

 _As you, and the rest of your year have not completed NEWT's, and that this will have an effect on your ability to find employment, we are offering all of our students the chance to retake their final year. Either in full starting in September and taking the NEWT'S at the end of June, or if they feel capable we will also offer the chance for students to take their NEWT's in December._

 _Please reply as to whether you will be attending in September, and how long you aim to stay._

 _Yours sincerely_

 _M. McGonagall,_

 _Headmistress of Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry._

 _P.S. I hope you are enjoying a well earned rest Miss Granger. I myself have holidayed many a time in Australia, if you get a chance then exploring the Great Barrier Reef by bubble head charm is a memorable experience._

Hermione had expected something along these lines. Half of this year's Hogwarts students had been taken out of school, their blood not being pure enough, or their families too worried about the Carrows to send them. The other half had been running around fighting some small battles, trying to save first years from being tortured, training in Dumbledore's army, and spreading propaganda, excellent exam results were not to be expected. Offering, but not demanding, that the year seven students retake the year seemed to her to be the obvious choice. Neither was she surprised to see that McGonagall had been made into head teacher, she as well was the obvious choice. Though she had not expected the personal message, and did appreciate it.

A few months previous Hermione would have leaped at the chance to go back to Hogwarts, and to have more study time to complete her exams. But now, though a part of her knew she would be going back, she was not as enthralled with the idea as she should have been.

Hogwarts was no longer that magical place where her friends were, where she was respected and by most marginally liked. Hogwarts no longer represented a safe haven, even after Cedric's death she'd still felt safe within its walls, now half those walls weren't there anymore.

She knew she would go back.

What other option did she have?

Thank you for reading, and for all your support with favs and reviews.

I am not as happy with this chapter as I would have liked, but hopefully the next one, in which the Ron/Hermione question is addressed, will run more smoothly.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four.

One of the problems with Australia is that they didn't really have fireplaces. I mean, who needs a fireplace when it's hot every day. And of course, disapparating internationally is dangerous, the long distances often leading to splicing. Hence, on Wednesday 23rd of August Hermione's parents drove her to the airport. She kissed her mother goodbye, and hugged her Dad, promising to study hard. As her gate was called, and she stepped away from them, she felt as if she were losing something.

She had written a letter back to McGonagal, explaining that although she was still dedicated to her studies, and would be attending in September, she felt in necessary to return back to Australia in the last week of November, just for a month or maybe six weeks, as her unexpected sibling was to be born. She was determined that she was going to be there for the child that she had inadvertently helped bring into the world, she would be a good big sister. Being an only child had been lonely, her parents had given her lots of time, and all their expectations, but they could not give her friends. She did not want this child to feel as lonely as she had. Yet, she also felt as if the birth of her sibling would draw an even greater barrier between her and her parents. Muggle parents rarely create one magical child, let alone two.

Twenty-one hours later, Hermione landed in London. She had a kink in her neck from sleeping pushed up against a window, and she was feeling a little annoyed with herself that she had watched the full monty twice, the wedding singer one and a half times, and had completely ignored a documentary on the blue whale. But, in Hermione's defence, there was something rather curious about naked men, not that everything was shown.

In that tent, in the woods, in the middle of a war that she had somehow ended up fighting, something else had happened, something in Hermione had woken up. Previously it had stirred a little, but now it was most definitely awake. She had experienced a few days when there was a bodily sensation of being strangely heavy in her nether regions, feeling as if there was something there that just wanted to burst, with emotions of being snappy and stressed. Then one night she had dreamed, it was a disjointed dream, but there had been bodies and heat, and then she had felt something powerful rip through her body, a feeling of intense pleasure, she had woke up confused and then embarrassed. She had been scared that she might have cried out, but the boys were still fast asleep. She had read thoroughly, and furtively on the subject, yet there were still a lot of questions unanswered.

As she walked outside and searched for a quite area to disapperate one question was on her mind. What would thing's be like with her and Ron? They had kissed that night, the night of the battle, their minds full of the fight, and adrenaline running through their bodies. With everything that had happened that night it had seemed strangely unreal. She knew that she had initialised it, she knew that in that moment she had been proud of him, had felt like their connection was deepening. But they had spoken little in the weeks since, and she couldn't be sure of her own feelings, let alone his. She walked out into the car park, quickly ran across the road, and hid in some trees. She looked around her, and sure that nobody was watching she took a deep breath and turned concentrating on the Leaky Cauldron.

She could block the feeling of disapperating now, she had done it so many times. But she still had a little nausea in the following minutes. Her senses were suddenly overwhelmed, the sweet smell of fire whiskey and butter beer, some underlying smells of cinnamon, and spice, and meat, stifling warmth, and a wall of sound, some muffled, some loud, some happy and some reserved. One voice cut through it all.

"Hermione!"

She opened her eyes and saw the smiling face of Harry, green eyes shining, black hair as messy as ever. She'd barely taken him in before she was pulled into a rough hug. She hugged him back fiercely, after everything they had been through they had an unbreakable link. She was truly ecstatic to be with him again. With him she felt that feeling that she had been looking for her whole life, the feeling of being fully accepted, and of belonging somewhere. It was not romantic, though, at times, she sometimes wondered what it would be like if it were. There had been a point, after Ron had left, and she and Harry were alone that she had felt something stirring for Harry. It had been confusing, but she put it down to how close they were, and how desperate the situation they were in was. No, there was nothing romantic about her relationship with Harry, what they had was a lot more substantial than that, they loved each other like siblings.

She felt Harry's grasp on her relax and she let him go. He backed away from her. Underneath his beaming smile though she could see traces of tiredness, maybe not as bad as before the battle, but she could tell that not all was easy with him.

"It's so good to have you here Hermione. "

She smiled. Looking around she suddenly realized that they were the focus of attention, people had stopped talking and were looking over at her and Harry. Some faces she vaguely recognised and others she didn't, was this what it was going to be like now? Harry being stared at everywhere he went? It had been bad before he'd killed Voldermort, but people had been respectful enough to pretend not to be looking.

"Why don't we go up to my room?" Harry suggested.

Hermione nodded, Harry took her hand without hesitation and pulled her back behind the bar. They went up a narrow staircase, took several twists and turns, and eventually ended up in a large bright attic room. The layout of the Leaky Cauldron had always surprised Hermione, it defied all usual conventions, and several laws of physics, but that was old magical buildings for you, they had so many charms on them you couldn't say if it was nails that held them up, or pure will power. The room itself was simply furnished, with a bed and a bookshelf, a desk by the large window and Harry's chest. Harry sat on the bed and pulled out the only chair for Hermione.

"Where's Ron? Ginny?"

"They're out to lunch with Mrs Weasley, we've been here a week now. George wanted to get back to work, he seemed to have picked up but.." Harry shook his head, and then gave a weak smile. "But Luna and Neville have been in contact, and they're going to be arriving to do their shopping on Monday."

"Neville is coming back for the year?"

"Everybody is coming back for the year, except a few Slytherines."

"Which Slytherines?"

"Well, I heard that Theodore Nott is being held at Azkaban awaiting trial."

"What about the other Hogwarts deatheaters?"

"I've not heard anything about Malfoy or Goyle, I've heard rumours from the DA that Zambini was never involved in anything, as for the girls, well."

"Voldermort underestimates women."

"That's why we won." Harry said with a small smile.

"So, any other news?"

Harry gave her a quizzical look.

"Nothing that hasn't been in the prophet."

"I haven't been reading the prophet."

"But you read everything."

"I need a break. From the news, from worrying about what was happening. From all those thing's that I know are going to affect me, but that I don't have any control over."

Harry nodded.

"They're trying to pull the ministry back together; they've hired Aurors from other countries to take down the remaining death eaters. Kingsley is standing in as minister, but it's expected that he'll get the position permanently. Everybody has been told to try and return to business as usual, Hogwarts has largely been repaired, though I've heard they haven't done anything with Ravenclaw tower yet. And they're planning a monument in the grounds too all those who died."

Hermione nodded.

There was a quiet knock at the door.

"That will be them."

Hermione suddenly felt nervous.

"Come in."

There was a bustle of activity as the three Weasleys came into the room. There were delighted squeals and Hermione found herself wrapped in a close hug before she could tell what was going on. Mrs Weasley always had a motherly air to her, and always smelled like freshly baked cookies. There was something innately comforting about this woman, whom had helped lead her gently into this world of witches and wizards that was so unlike the world she was raised in. If Harry was a brother to her then Mrs Weasley, who always seemed to have room in her heart, and time for any child, despite having so many of her own, was like a favourite aunt to her. She had barely been let go of by Mrs Weasley when Ginny Wealsey grabbed her in an equally hard hug.

"I have missed you so much; do you know what it's like to have to spend the entire summer with six boys?"

"You had everybody home?" Hermione said.

"Yes, we had all the boys home, and Harry of course. But, Phlegm was only with us for a few days. And the new place is smaller than the Burrow."

"But George has his own place now, as does Bill, and Charlie doesn't come back that often, Percy might visit a little more but he has a flat. " Mrs Weasley started to explain. "Ron is looking at moving into Wizard Wheases. So we really only needed a room for me and Arthur, and one for Ginny, and a spare room for when people visit.

"Ten of us in a three bedroom semi."

Hermione was only half listening, because as she looked behind Ginny, she could see Ron in the doorframe. He was watching them silently.

"Hey." She breathed.

Ginny stopped talking about water pressure and turned to look at her brother. There was a moment when she, Harry and Mrs Weasley looked between Hermione and Ron. But Hermione didn't notice, because her stomach was doing something weird and unpleasant.

"Hi." Ron replied.

"Hermione, do you need something to eat?" Mrs Weasley asked.

"What? Yes, I'm hungry. It was a long flight."

"I'll go downstairs and order you something. Harry dear you need something too."

"Yep, I'll come down with you, and Ginny.. Ginny is..."

"Thirsty." Ginny supplied.

"Yep, so we're all going to go down and order food, apart from Ginny who is going to drink some butterbeer."

"Shouldn't I come to order some food?" Hermione asked.

"No, you just stay here with Ron, you need to rest, and we'll handle everything." Ginny said.

Hermione stared after them as they left the room, leaving her alone with Ron. Ginny winked at her as she shut the door and Hermione felt her cheeks grow warm.

"How have you been?"

Ron shrugged.

"I've been staying with George for the past week. I've been working in the shop. I think I'm good at it."  
"That's good."

"Yeah."

Hermione searched for something to say, but she struggled and the silence between them became awkward.

Ron hunched his shoulders forwards and looked down.

"Hermione." He seemed to be struggling with something. Then he stepped forwards, and grabbed Hermione around the waist pulling her to his body. She took a moment to feel the firmness of his chest, he was not muscular, but he was firm, and it gave her a small thrill to be so close to him. His lips came down on hers.

Despite what people thought, Ron had not been Hermione's first kiss. He was in fact her third. Her first kiss had been with Adam McKenna, in year two primary school. He had come up to her when she was painting (the subject had been Henry IIIV, though her teacher had thought it was a clown), and pulling her face towards him had kissed her soundly on the lips. Hermione had run crying to her teacher.

"Miss, he kissed me."

"Well, it's better than hitting you."

Teachers never seem to understand anything.

Viktor, Hermione's second kiss had been something else entirely. He had something dark and dangerous about him at first glance, but he had actually been a little shy. Though his kisses had been confident, girls liked him- and he knew that, he just didn't like their reasons for liking him. His kisses had been slow and meticulous, and for three brief weeks- numerous. Then that dark and dangerous bit that had thrilled her so much had become scary. He was older. He knew things, things about bodies and feelings that she wasn't ready for. She had ended their relationship, but they had remained friends. Although she would not admit it to Ron or Harry, she still wrote to Viktor, and sometimes when his letters came back full of passion and poetry she considered if now that she was older, and now that she had a darker side too, maybe they could have been together.

But now Ron, the boy she had wanted to be with for the last three years, was kissing her. Hermione could admit, his kisses were more like Adam's than Krum's. But, they could work on that. The problem wasn't technique; the problem was that something else didn't feel right about it.

Ron's tongue slipped into her mouth, she tried to tame it a bit, but she felt like he was trying to clean her tonsils. She'd had them removed at the age of nine, but he seemed determined to find them. She felt her weight heavily pushing against her and she took two steps back, Ron's feet following her.

"Ron." She said trying to stop him; she wanted to talk about what was happening.

Her back hit the wall. And the next moment Ron's hands were on either side of his face and he pushed his tongue down her throat again just as she was opening her mouth to suggest that they sit down.

Hermione wanted to gag; it was too much too fast. She could feel.. well, she could feel him against her lower stomach, and she didn't like it. She pushed her hands hard against his chest, and he stumbled backwards. He looked annoyed.

"Ron, stop it."

He stared at her for a moment.

"What? I thought we were together now."

Hermione could not believe his obtuseness, she thought that he had grown up a little in the last year, but now she wasn't so sure.

"We're together now?"

"That's what I thought, we kissed, didn't we?"

"Yes, I know we did."

"And you started it."

"Yes I did."

"Then what's the problem?"

The problem was that she felt like Ron's kissing was not exactly passionate, more forceful and desperate, and she had her suspicions that the desperation had not come from missing her.

"Just.. Shouldn't we talk about it?" Hermione suggested.

"What's there to talk about? We've known each other for seven years. We've been together every day. What is there to discuss?"

"Well, you know we weren't talking for about two of those seven years."

"You want to throw that back in my face do you?"

"No, I wasn't. Why are you so angry?"

"Angry? I've been waiting seven years for you. And now you say I have to wait longer?"

"You haven't been waiting for me for seven years Ron, for three of those you didn't really notice me in that way, because we were children. And last year you did spend four months with your tongue down Lavenders throat, this hasn't been seven years of longing."

"Look, are we together or not?"

"I just think a lot has happened. I'm not saying no, I'm just saying maybe we should wait for things to calm down a bit."

"I don't want to wait; I think that if we wait we'll miss our chance."

"Just a little while Ron, let's let things get back to normal."

"Nothing is ever going to be normal again Hermione." Ron shouted back.

"Nothing's going to be as it was, but we'll create a new normal."

"Hermione, you're either with me or you're not."

"Is that an ultimatum?"

"Yes, It is."

She sighed. Thing's had got quickly out of hand.

"I thought our relationship was worth too much for ultimatums."

She stared at him, hoping he'd see sense, but he just stared back unrelentingly.

"It's a no, because I don't think that this is about you and me at the moment. One day, one day it will be about you and me again, and then we can have this conversation again."

"I knew it." Ron said, crossing his arms and stepping away from her.

"You knew what?"

"That you still haven't forgiven me for leaving."

"I have. "

"Obviously not, I can't believe you, next time you act all holier than thou, you remember this moment Granger, and you remember that because you wouldn't forgive, you decided to be alone for the rest of your life."

"The rest of my life, really?"

"Yes, who else would put up with you?"

"Fine."

"Fine."

Ron stumbled as he opened the door.

"Bugger off Ginny." He said gruffly as he slammed the door shut.

Hermione sat on the bed, her head in her hands. Had she just made a mistake? She'd wanted this type of attention from Ron for years, and now, now it looked like it wasn't going to happen. He had been so hurtful, she'd just wanted to talk, to be sure that he knew what he wanted. After all, seven years of friendship was worth too much to her to risk it all for a relationship that might collapse after a few weeks.

Hermione felt the bed next to her compress. She looked up to see Ginny giving a grimacing smile.

"He's an arse."

"You heard that?"

"Half the pub heard that. I came up to check you were okay when I heard raised voices, I caught the tail end."

"Do you think I messed up?"

"No." Ginny said rolling her eyes. "I think he's being an arse."

"I just wanted a little bit more time, I know how long we've known each other, but so much has happened Ginny, I just don't know what I want anymore."

"I think all we really want at the moment is for the pain to stop." Ginny said sadly.

Hermione shook herself, for a few minutes she had forgotten that Ginny was in mourning for her brother.

"I'm sorry Ginny, my problems must seem so insignificant to you. They are insignificant really, I didn't really loose anybody."

"They're not insignificant. With everything going on we're all just clinging to the people who we have left. Do you know how many marriage notification my parents receive a week? Even Percy has shacked up with somebody, though he's not bothered to introduce us yet. We've all been reminded that life doesn't last forever. "

"Maybe that's what Ron was getting at."

"No, Hermione, life doesn't last forever, but there's still no need to rush it when it's not right. Ron.." Ginny focussed her gaze on the ceiling. "Ron's not all right, I mean, I know none of us are all right, but Ron is really struggling. "

""He didn't have to take it out on me."

"He takes it out on everybody. You may not know this but he and Fred were inseparable when they were children. I mean, Ron was like their triplet, they did everything with him, but he was closer with Fred, because Fred was the one who always had this need to be distinctive, to be himself and not just one of the twins. Sometimes he would pull away from George, to make his stand as an individual, but he would just spend all his time with Ron instead. It was silly really, a few days later and he would be back with George, and Ron would tag along behind them, never really one of them but always trying to be. Then of course Fred and George started Hogwarts and Lee Jordon became the new Ron."

"So, what do you think I should do?"

"I think you should forgive him. And wait for him to stop being an arse and apologise, then." Ginny shrugged. "Then do whatever you want."

"There's a but in there somewhere isn't there?"

"But I don't see what you see in him. I mean, he's my brother, and he's great, he really is kind at times, and loyal, and he's not nearly as dumb as his marks would suggest, but I really don't get what you two have in common. But, I guess sometimes the heart knows things the head doesn't."

Hermione nodded. She didn't want to admit it, but sometimes she wondered what she saw in Ron. What she had said was true, she had forgiven him for leaving them in the woods, but when he left something inside her had faltered. She no longer trusted him, she no longer saw him as unwavering in his dedication to them, his friends. But it was more than that one regretted moment, she'd had a crush on Ron for years, but that crush had been interrupted with periods of intense annoyance. It was a crush, it wasn't love. He was one of her best friends, but they'd fought a lot. They'd had months of not speaking to each other, they're arguments had been fierce. Yes, she loved him, she did, as a friend, but sometimes she wondered if she'd sort of grown out of Ron. She wondered if she had only wanted him because he was close, and easy, and there wasn't anybody else.

"Anyhow." Ginny put her hand on Hermione's arm. "You look wiped out, let's go downstairs, have some dinner, and then maybe you should consider getting an early night."

Hermione smiled, sometimes Ginny had a habit of sounding like her mother.

"I need to go shopping tomorrow; I've no idea where half of books have gone."

"Yep, and we can get some new clothes, I've heard there might be a ball this year. Harry said that he'd get me a gown, it was my birthday two weeks ago, but we all decided to wait till later to celebrate it given the circumstances."

"We'll throw you a late party when we get settled in back at Hogwarts."

"Oh, and I don't know if Harry told you but he's going to go visit Teddy this week, some maybe you can go with him. I don't do babies."

"Neither do I, but I guess I'll have to learn."

Ginny smiled at her.

"Come on, let's go get something to eat. He won't be there. He'll have stormed back to Wizard Wheezers."

Hermione followed Ginny obediently downstairs, the exhaustion that she felt faded slightly when she saw Harry sat there indicating a huge plate of sausages and mash, and a jug of very thick and lumpy looking gravy.

"One slice or two?"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five

There was something unnerving about Eeylops, firstly there was the musty smell, then there was the occasional crunch of mouse bones beneath your feet, and finally was the dozens of pairs of eyes that followed you as you walked around the shop. Hermione thought that owls were supposed to sleep at night, but as it was she walked into the shop all eyes turned to her. The wizard behind the counter, a man who wore a strange fathered cardigan, and never seemed to blink was talking to a man about wing care. So Hermione was free to browse, it was a little unnerving though that as she looked at the owls she had the feeling that she wasn't judging them, they were judging her.

The shop was kept dark, but as she walked around a flickering light caught her eye. She walked over to the small corner table where a little candle sat flickering. Around it were photos of owls, these ones all asleep, and a short list of names. As she looked at the pictures one seemed familiar, a snowy owl, she looked at the list of names on the table and sure enough..

"Hedwig."

She jumped at the voice behind her. She turned and saw the shop keeper stood behind her.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you coming."

"Do you know that ice never hear an owl coming, they're so silent. One minute the mouse is going about its normal day, then a flash of wings, and they are dead, as quick and easy as that."

"Sounds almost kind in a way."

"Yes, Owls do not torture or play with their food, not like cats." He tilted his head to the side. "You have a cat, don't you?"

"Crookshanks." Hermione answered.

She had recently regained ownership of her pet, which had been staying with the Weasley's over the last year. Her ginger cat was getting on in years but he had still jumped happily into her arms when she had gone to pick him up the previous day, and he had spent the whole night curled into her side purring. Hermione hadn't realised how much she missed his simple affection.

"Why do you have a picture of Hedwig?"  
"These are those who were lost during the war. Hedwig was one of my favourites, she came to visit me sometimes."

"Hedwig visited you?"

"Most of my owls visit me on occasion, when they are not needed by their owners. Owls are very loyal, once you are friends, you are friends for life."

Hermione nodded.

"Hedwig was very loyal."

"You are a friend of Harry Potter."

"Yes."

"He is a good owl owner. Hedwig was very contented."

"That's actually why I'm here; I want to get a new owl for Harry. He misses Hedwig, but I think enough time has passed."

Eeylop turned on his heel quickly and swooped out through a door that Hermione assumed went to the back of the shop. She was still stood staring after him, wondering if she had offended him in some way when he appeared back in the doorway. On his arm was a magnificent medium sized owl.

"This, is Icarus."

Hermione steeped forwards to get a better look at the owl, she couldn't work out what it was. It had the markings and shape of a born owl, but his feathers were ginger. He watched her with black eyes staring out of a heart shaped face.

"He's ginger." Hermione said surprised.

"He is a Madagascan red owl. As a species they were discovered three years ago, Icarus came to me last year, he was brought to me by Rolf Scamander."  
"Scamander, like Newt Scamander?"

"He's grandson, a very keen ornithologist. Only twenty, but following in his grandfathers footsteps. He found Icarus with a broken wing, and brought him back to me for my care. We have become very close, but he has told me that he is ready to move on now."

"Rolf is ready to move on?"  
"Icarus. And I think that Harry Potter has infinity with red heads."

Hermione smiled.

"Yes, he does." 

* * *

Hermione was flushed with excitement as she knocked on Harry's door. She couldn't wait to see his reaction to his new pet. She heard muffled sounds behind the door, as she waited for what seemed a little too long.

"Harry? Shall I come back later?"

The door was opened by an equally flushed looking Ginny.

Hermione hesitated slightly.

"Oh, hello, I was just.."

"We were just, well, never mind, I was just leaving."

"Okay, I just." She held up the cage with Icarus in. Ginny looked down at him as if seeing the cage for the first time. "Oh, he's beautiful. Harry! Harry, come see what Hermione's got. Hermione, I'll catch up with you later, I told George I'd help out in the shop this afternoon and I'm running late. You should pop in. I know that George would want to see you."

"I will do." Hermione replied. Ginny poked her finger through the cage and tickled Icarus's wing before she skipped down the stairs. Hermione could now see into the room beyond where Harry was hastily picking clothes up off the floor.

"Hello Herm, sorry, not cleaned up this morning. Is that an owl? I thought you didn't like owls?"

" He's not mine. He's yours."

Harry straightened up and stared at her open mouthed.

"You got me an owl?"

He rushed across the room and skidded onto his knees in front of the cage.

"Wow, just, Hermione."

"His name is Icarus, he had a broken wing, but he's better now. Apparently he told Mr. Eeylop that he was ready to go."

Harry didn't seem to take this in. He was looking at the owl in delight.

"I've never seen an owl like him, Hermione what is he?"

"A Madagascan red, apparently he's a newly found type of owl."

"Hi Icarus."

The owl leaned forwards on its perch and clicked its beak.

"I'm Harry, I'm going to look after you. I promise."

As Harry stood up, Hermione put the owl cage on the desk and opened the cage. Harry held his arm out and Icarus flew straight to him. Harry settled on the bed stroking Icarus's back.

"He's amazing Hermione, thank you."

"I'm glad you like him. Eeylop said he thought you would get on well with a red head."

Harry gave a small laugh.

"I feel like I'm up to my eyebrows in red head."

They sat n silence for a while, Harry stroking his fingers down Cirrus's back while the owl happily ruffled his feathers, and clicked his beak.

"I wanted to talk to you, but it's a bit.. Well.. Delicate."

"It's about Ginny."

"Yes. Um.. You know girls, I mean, you are a girl."

"I hate it when people say that." Hermione said, thinking about all the times when people stated it, it was as if it wasn't obvious.

"Sorry. I just, I just wanted your opinion, because you're good at emotions and stuff."

"Okay I'm listening."

"Well." Harry hesitated, blushing, he wouldn't look at Hermione. He stared at his hand twiddling his thumbs.

"Have you and Ginny had a fight?" Hermione probed trying to help him.

"No. We're good actually, really good. I mean, it's not like it's appropriate to be romantic and stuff whilst mourning." He hesitated.

"You're wondering how long you should leave it before you take Ginny on a romantic date?"

"No, it's just, although I think that our relationship should wait a little while, out of respect for the dead. Ginny has had a different reaction."

"Oh?"

"I mean, she's gone a bit sex crazy. Not that we've had sex, not you know..." He made some hand gestures. Then broke into a nervous laugh.

"I'm not saying this very well am I?

"Ginny's being more amorous than you thought she would be given that she's just lost her brother."

"Yes. I mean, we made out in the bathroom, at the funeral, she started it, honest."

"Harry, how far has it gone?"

"I um.. Third base stuff. "

Hermione nodded.

"It's difficult, because I don't' want it to go further, not yet. I know I'm a boy, and I'm meant to want this stuff, but I get the feeling something is wrong. I get the feeling that she doing this for some reason that's not about her wanting to do this but more.. I don't know. Do girls ever do sex stuff when they're feeling bad?"

"She said something to me last week, she said that everybody is just trying to stop the pain."

"She's using this to feel something other than pain?"

"I would guess so."

"Am I taking advantage of her?"

"I think, if anything Harry, she's taking advantage of you."

I don't mind. I just, when I stop thing's, I don't want to insult her. I don't want her to think I'm not interested, I'm definitely interested."

"Tell her that. Tell her that it isn't the right time for you."

"I don't want her to feel like I'm rejecting her, honestly Hermione, she means a lot to me."

"I know. But if you word it right it should be fine. Tell her you just want everything to be perfect for your first time. I think she'll be okay with that. Girls appreciate it when your sensitive. Ginny loves you, she's waited for you, and she's not going to run just because you say something she doesn't like."

"Thanks Hermione, I'll talk to her tonight. "

Hermione stood up and smoothed down her skirt.

"You and Ginny have a strong relationship, everything is going to be fine."

"Hermione, Ginny told me about what happened between you and Ron. I'm sorry. I don't want to get caught between the two of you, because you're both my best friends, but from what I've heard, he wasn't being fair on you."

"Thank you, Harry." Hermione said closing the subject straight away. She did not want to think of Ron, she did not want to talk to him or about him with anybody. She jsut wanted to forget that Ron exsisted for a while, though she doubted that it was going to be possible. "

I think I'm going to go visit George." She said. " I don't think its right to put it off much longer."

Harry nodded.

"It's hard to see him, the way he is, but he needs people around."

Hermione nodded in agreement, she turned to leave.

"Oh Hermione, will you come to me to visit Teddy at Andromeda's tomorrow? I've written to her and she's expecting me in the afternoon."  
" That would be nice, I'll come."

As she closed the door Harry was sitting on the bed, talking quietly to Icarus.

Weasley's Wizard Wheezers was busier than Hermione had ever seen it. There was a queue outside the door. Ron was stood in the doorway, organizing a one in one out policy. As she walked down the queue she stopped and said hello to the younger Griffindors that she saw, and nodded to others that she recognised. The last year had not been fun for the young Hogwarts students, and it seemed they wanted to make it up.

Hermione walked up to the door way, Ron looked at her with folded arms.

"No queue jumping."

Hermione usually preferred to talk problems out. But she did know that occasionally talking wasn't the answer to everything. She pulled out her wand and drew a complex design in the air, muttering under her breath as she did so. A single golden bird began to materialise. She met Ron's eyes and stared him down, his eyes flickered nervously to the little golden bird.

"Alright, Jeese, you take things way to seriously."

He stepped aside and let her in.

She pushed her way past the giggling crowds of girls looking at day dream boxes, the grown wizards discussing fart in a bottles, and the not so grown wizards looking at coded ink. The whole shop was a mass of noise, and smell, and colour, but Hermione largely ignored it as she pushed her way to the front of the shop. Ginny was behind the till looking harassed. She gave her a weak smile in welcome and poured some puking pastels into the scales. Then she turned to Hermione.

"Hi, we're a bit rushed here. Did you come to see George?"

"Hey, what about my pastels?"

"They're not disappearing dingos."

"Yes, where is he?" Hermione said looking round the busy store for him. "Upstairs. The door to the flat is behind the biting joke book case."

"Okay." Hermione said.

She pushed her way up the stairs and tried to scare off a bunch of second year Slytherines who were looking at the joke books, then she slipped behind the door, plunging through the silencing charm and into the quiet. She took a deep breath of relief, she didn't know how Ginny managed to put up with the noise for hours on end.

"George?" She shouted. "George its Hermione, is it alright to come up?"

There was no answer. Hermione hesitated at the foot of the stairs for a moment. She and George were not exactly what you would call close, of course, they had not really had any in-depth conversations, and if she was honest at time's she'd had trouble telling him apart for Fred. But they had been together a lot when she had spent time at the burrow, they had played numerous games of exploding snap and she'd watched them practise quidditch in the garden. Once, when Ron had said something particularly nasty to her in third year George had put his arm around her should and told her that Ron was a pillock. She didn't really know if this was enough for her to invade his personal space without asking, but she decided that she couldn't stand in the stairwell forever and started up the stairs.

"George, I'm coming up."

At the top of the stairs was a small dark attic room. Hermione imagined that it wasn't always dark, but the thick curtains that lined a triangular shaped window had been drawn. There was that stale dusty smell of a place that had been left empty for a while, and as she looked around she saw a thin layer of dust on the two desks that sat side by side. A big mantle piece took up one side of the room, and its line of photos of various red haired family members and friends she recognised from Hogwarts was the only homely thing about the room. The rest, reminded Hermione of old muggle detective movies she had seen when a kid, the detective so obsessed with catching a killer had lined the room with pictures and maps joined together with bits of string. It was like that, but it was drawing of strange contraptions and ingredient lists.

At first she thought that Ginny had been mistaken and that George had gone out, but then as she looked through the gloom she saw that one of the twin beds that occupied a large amount of the floor space was occupied. A tuft of red hair rustled slightly against the pillow.

"George?"

"Hermione?"

The figure in the bed flipped over and stared at her bleary eyed.

George, was as everybody had been telling her, hard to see. There were large dark shadows around his eyes that stood out against the pale and sickly pallor of his skin. His hair was visibly greasy as if it had not been washed for weeks and what Hermione could make of his clothes were crumpled and stained.

"Hey." Hermione said weakly. She looked around the room, not quite knowing what to say or do with her. She opted to grab a chair and pull it up to the side of the bed.

"Business is booming." She said as a way to start of the conversation.

"Ron and Ginny keep coming up and telling me that they need help. Did you come to help?"

"I came to see you, but I can help if you like, I have nothing better to do. But why don't you get out of bed and help them?"

"I can't help them."

"Why not George?"

"The magic has gone."

"What do you mean gone?"

"It's gone. It doesn't work anymore. Not since.." He left it hanging.

Hermione had heard of this, she had heard that sometimes people struggled with their magic when they were grieving or depressed, magic came from will, and at times when people didn't have the will anymore, they didn't have the magic either.

"It's only temporary George."

"That's what they said at Saint Mungo's."

"What else did they say?"

"That if I came back to the shop, and worked a bit maybe it would come back."

"Well, that's what you should do then. You should do some work. Why don't you get up, take a shower, and come down to see how busy the shop is. They're queuing all the way down the street."

George turned back around with a sigh.

"Look, we're all going back to Hogwarts in a few days, Ginny, Ron, Harry. When we go back there's going to be nobody to mind the shop."

"It can stay closed."

"You don't mean that. I think what you and Fred built here, I think it's amazing. I think the biggest honour to him would be to make sure that it thrives, at the moment, other people can look after it, but without you, well, we can't do what you do. We can't come up with the tricks that you do. I mean, your use of magic, nobody has done it before, and I know, I can come off as serious most of the time, but you know, magic, it should be fun. Muggle children know that. At this time, after everything that has happened, people need fun, people need to be surprised, delighted, you get fun and magic like nobody I know. Your inventions, they're genius."

George turned back to her blinking thoughtfully. He nervously ran his hand through his hair.

"I don't think I can do it without him." He said in barely a whisper. " We thought the same, we bounced ideas off of each other. He would take one of my ideas and expand it, I would take on of his and do the same. Hermione, I feel like I'm half a person."

Hermione felt her eyes well up, and unashamed she let a few tears run down her face.

" I have not lost what you have. I will never understand, because I've never had anybody who understood what I thought. I never had that, but I feel like I don't know who I am anymore, not after this. I don't feel at home anywhere, I don't feel safe anywhere. I know I don't get it. I never will, nobody will. I'm so sorry George. But you have to get up, you have to find a way to carry on, you have to find a way to carry him with you, everything that he had, you had too. You can do it. Eventually, you will be able to do it."

"Is it always this lonely?"

"Yes."

Hermione left George an hour later, she had persuaded him to shower and had heated him some soup. Then she had sat with him and looked at a new recipe for puking pastels that made you barf rainbow coloured slime. She made a few suggestions on ways to help protect the user's stomach lining, which George scribbled down. They both agreed that he was not well enough to go out into the shop, but they did take the back exit out of the shop and went to the apothecary for some ingredients.

* * *

Hermione had mixed feeling about going to see little Teddy Lupin, though she wanted to check on the well being of her friends son, it brought back memories of Tonks and Lupin. It was hard to believe they were dead at times. Sometimes she had dreams, beautiful dreams, where she was at Hogwarts and all her friends were there with her in the Gryffindor common room. Tonks was making them laugh by changing her nose, and Lupin was looking across at her with softness in his eyes. Lavender and Parvarti giggling in the corner. The twins would be handing sweets out to everybody. Even Sirius and Hedwig were there. Then she would wake up and the cold reality of real life would sink in. Those people were dead.

She spent the morning picking up her school things, she had brought new supplies the previous year, at the time not thinking that she would use them but living in hope. So all she really needed was some more potions ingredients and as Ginny had told them, a new dress. She wasn't really the type of girl who spent a lot of time looking at clothing, but occasionally, she just wanted to look beautiful, a part of her knew that she would always be a bit on the plain side, but every dog must have its day. It was with this in mind that she picked out a light blue dress that was a tight bodice at the top and had flowing romantic style full skirts at the bottom. When she had tried it on she felt like she was still a little girl playing at dressing up as a princess. But, she brought it anyway, knowing that she wouldn't be happy with any dress in the shop because she never felt that she looked right in anything, and she and Ginny could charm it a little and accessories until Hermione felt right in it. That's what they had done at the twiwizard ball, and despite the fact that she had felt awkward at first she had heard whispers, and gasps and for the first time in her life knew that she was beautiful, if only for that one night.

At midday Hermione went to Harry's room. Knocked sharply on the door and entered.

"Hey Harry."

Harry was stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, a stiff smile on his face. Hermione's hand instantly went for her wand.

"What is it?"

"Nothing."

Hermione's met Harry's eyes and glanced down to her wand pocket. Her finger twitching slightly.

"No, Hermione, sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. It's just Ron is coming with us to see Andromeda and Tonks and I didn't know how you would react."

"Ron is coming?"

"Yes."

"Well, he is your friend, so I guess I have to be okay with that."

"He's your friend too Hermione."

"I know that, we've just put the friendship on hiatus, that's all."

"Is this going to be alright? You both coming?"

"Yes. I didn't expect him to be there, but I'm sure we can keep civil with one another."

"Good. And, he kind of invited himself along this morning. I couldn't, wouldn't say no."

"Okay then."

There was a knock at the door then and Ron stumbled in. He looked at her then turned to Harry.

"Watcha Harry, ready to go?"

"Yep. Everybody ready?"

Hermione nodded.

They all stood side by side and disappeared. When Hermione next opened her eyes she was in a sunny green valley, rolling hills on either side of her. Ron was bent over double next to her retching slightly.

"Still gets me." He said.

"That's it." Harry said, he was pointing to a large grey stonewalled house that stood at the base of one of the hills. The Tonks house, even fromt he outside, was very prim and proper. There was a wrought iron fence around it, the metal twisting delicately to spell the names of the family members, Nymphodora, Ted, Teddy, Remus and Andromeda. Rose bushes lines either side growing the most distinguished looking bright blue roses, and there was a swinging chair out on the lawn. Hermione looked at the house and noticed that as well as this the door was painted in the exact blue of the roses and through the windows she could see matching curtains that must be the same in every room.

"How old is Teddy now, Harry?" Hermione asked as they walked toward the house.

"He's five months old."

"Five months, is he turning over? They say anywhere between three and six months is normal."

"I don't know."

"Is he laughing?"

"Jes, Hermione, give the man a break, he's never met the child. Besides, it's a baby, they sleep and poop."

"Actually, I wish I knew more about this stuff. Remus and Tonks picked me, when there were so many wizards of their age they could have picked. I want to prove that they made the right choice. When he's old enough I'm going to take him to the zoo, and have him sleep over, maybe take him on holidays . Having Serious, just for those two years meant everything to me, I'd never had a father figure, and I know that he was a bit wild at times but he was there for me."

Hermione shot a smug look at Ron.

"How did you find out about the rolling over and stuff ?"

"Books."

Ron scoffed.  
"You can't learn how to look after babies form a book. It comes from being around them, and you're an only child."

"For the time being maybe, and what do you know about babies, you were what one, when Ginny was born. If Harry wants to know about babies he'd be better off talking to Charlie. I bet he changed your diapers a few times.

"Will you stop arguing. I know there are things going on between you but I don't appreciate being caught in the middle of it and this is about me meeting my godson."

As they neared the door opened, Hermione fought down a rising panic. The resemblance of Andromeda to Bellatrix was striking, and it immediately unnerved her and made her still unhealed arm itch. But as they got close Andromeda smiled welcomingly, that soft and sane a smile would never have graced her sister's lips, Hermione felt herself un-tense a little.

"Harry, and if I remember rightly that's Ron and Hermione?"

"Yes." Harry answered. "I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all, come in. I'll make a pot of tea."

They went into the house, walking through a spotless and tastefully decorated living room full of soft looking sofas and family photos, then an equally spotless dining room, in which the dark wood tables and chairs had been moved to the side of the room, in the centre was a day cot. And in it gurgling was a little boy with bright blue hair. He was as far as infants went, Hermione supposed, quite attractive. He had a round and jolly face, and pink little lips, and he was waving his hands in the air trying to catch a stuffed dog that was hanging unaided over the cot, no, that wasn't right, it was a wolf.

"Teddy." Harry said walking instantly towards his godson. He looked down at him, his face serious.

"He has her nose, at least, I think he does."

Andromeda nodded.

Yes, her original nose. Which you have to admit was a fine nose, petite."

"And Remus's eyes. Golden." Harry said looking up at Andromeda, again she nodded.

"Would you like to hold him?"

"I don't know how."

"It's easy enough." Andromeda said lifting the cooing baby out. She balanced him on one hip as she reached over and pulled Harry's arms around until the large baby was securely held by him.

"Hi Teddy. " Harry said looking down. "I'm Harry, I'm you're godfather, that means I look out for you."

The baby chewed on Harry's jumper quite unawares of the emotion of the moment.

"Right." Andromeda said firmly. "Tea." They followed her into the kitchen where they were all told to sit around a less formal set of table and chairs than that in the dining room.

"Make sure he doesn't grab for the tea." Andromeda said as she set steaming mugs in front of them all.

"So how have you been doing?" Harry asked.

"Keeping busy, it's hard not to be busy with a baby in the house, and keeping busy helps."

"They all weakly agreed. Hermione turned around in her chair, there was a coat hanging on the back of it and the way it was draping was uncomfortable. She picked it up to move it around but something about it seemed to strike her as a little odd, and strangely familiar. It was a man's coat, black and thick, and long, but it seemed too small to have belonged to Remus or Ted Tonks. Andromeda saw her looking at it.

"He's not talking much. But that's to be expected. He's been invited back to Hogwarts, which is a good sign, though we still don't really know what's going to happen. I told him Harry was coming, he decided he didn't want to be here. He spends a lot of time by the lake. Things are still quite raw for him, well, for us all I suppose. But he is a good help with Teddy."

"Who are we talking about?" Ron asked.

"Draco." Hermione answered.

"My nephew." Andromeda confirmed.

"Malfoy, you're looking after Malfoy?" Ron said sounding disgusted.

Andromeda stared at him, her face becoming fierce and intense, it was a stare that Hermione recognised.

"I have lost enough of my family in the last few months that it's only fitting that I try and reclaim a few to."

"But he was a death eater. " Ron said sounding a little unsure of him now.

"He is a product of the world he was brought up into. I truly believe that given a chance, and given some affection he will grow out of it. Draco is not bad, he's just a couple of shades darker grey than the rest of us."

Ron shook his head. Hermione laid her hand on his arm, trying to indicate to him that he should just let it go but he jumped back from her as if burnt and stared at her angrily.

They moved on in conversation away from Draco. They talked about pleasantries, Andromeda talked about how Teddy had changed every morning when she went to get him up, and that he seemed to like to turn his ears pointed, like a little elf, one day he had even turned himself green. She asked about school and talked about her days at Hogwarts. They strictly avoid conversation about Tonks and Lupin, it was all too soon. Hermione could see how sharp the pain was to Andromeda. But her love for her grandson was equally clear and Hermione knew that the young boy would live a good life.

When Teddy began to get tired they moved from the kitchen to the living room, lying Teddy to sleep as they did so.

"You're a natural." Andromeda smiled at Harry as he laid the young boy down. It was true, Harry had not taken his eyes of the infant since they had arrived, and his initial nerves seemed to have disappeared entirely.

Harry shrugged.

"I have to admit, I'm scared to death that I won't do it right, that I'll screw him up some way."

"You sound like a parent." Andromeda smiled. "Don't; worry, we'll help each other." She said.

They settled in the front room. As Andromeda and Harry sat beside one another on one of the sofa's Ron and Hermione were forced to sit close together on the other. Their knees knocking together.

"So, you're staying in London? Have you had a good week?" Andromeda said.

"Yes, Hermione brought me a lovely owl, his name's Icarus."

"Trying to get him to take your side?" Ron whispered to Hermione.

"No, I'm just being a good friend." She whispered back.

"Oh, yeah right. You've probably got your eyes set on him now, haven't you?"

"Don't be silly Ronald."

Her voice must have raised a little because Harry met her eyes, but he continued to talk closely to Andromeda.

"You're not denying it."

"Of course I'm denying it, Harry is with Ginny."

"But if he wasn't."

"But if he wasn't it still wouldn't change anything because I am not in love with Harry."

"Really! Don't want to get a piece of the chosen one for yourself?"

"Ronald! Will you stop it!" Hermione shouted.

As she turned around Harry and Andromeda was staring at her, she felt herself blush.

"I'm going for a walk." She said. "I'll be back before you go. Andromeda, thank you for the tea it was lovely." Hermione placed her cup in the sink and turned out the door quickly. She set her eyes on the top of the hill behind the house and set off at a face pace.

She paced up the hill so quickly that she was breathless by the time she reached the top. Bending over double and gasping for breath. He always got the better of her no matter how much she tried to stay above it all. He just had a knack at drawing her into childish arguments.

When she straightened up all thoughts disappeared from her mind. The scene in front of her was beautiful. She had stumbled upon a hidden valley, two of the mountains she had previously seen were on either side of her, meeting at the end in s triangular shape blocking all view of the vale apart from the top of the hill. And nestled in-between the mountains and the hills was a crystal clear lake. It was fed by a multitude of streams trickling down the mountain sides, sheer drops creating waterfalls with sparkling pools below them. The fertile land between the lake and pools was of the softest looking moss , dotted with long grasses ranging between Slytherine green to bluish greys and pinkish yellows. There were large boulders , tall enough to climb littered around as if some giants had been playing toss. Trees grouped in little gangs up the mountains, mostly pines, but there was by the waterside one giant weeping willow. It was so large that it cast a shadow over the vale and up to where Hermione stood, its branches leaned over the water, and trailing vines flowed in the water as if they were just a part of it.

She hesitated before going down, she didn't want to go back yet. She wanted to touch the water, to create ripples. She just wanted to be alone, here with the lake, it felt like it had been months since she had been truly alone.

Since Hermione had stood there and seen Harry lying in Hagrid's arms, Draco on the floor bleeding, and the empty eyes of the Lupins, something had changed. She knew now that she was still herself, however lost she felt, but she was also changing. She had decided that it wasn't always about how many facts you could fit in your head, sometimes it was about how much living you could fit into your life. Hermione wasn't about to go bungee jumping off a cliff anytime soon – she wasn't really a fan of heights- but she was going to try and get a healthier balance. Sometimes, when she went to sit outside, she wouldn't take a book, she would just go and listen to the birds- and sometimes- when she wanted, she would paddle in a lake.

At the foot of the lake she slipped off her shoes and socks, spreading her toes underneath the soft cool moss. She rolled up her jeans and cautiously dropped her toe in the water. It was surprisingly warm, she wondered whether it was magic or if it was perhaps fed by an underground spring, it didn't matter, the sensation was delightful. She wished she had a swimming costume so she could just dive into the clear water. She waded out into the water, it was shallow at first but got deep quickly, she allowed the bottom of her turned up jeans to get wet.

There was a noise to the side of her, a creaking of branches. She jumped, suddenly on edge, her hand itching towards her wand. She jumped back when she saw that somebody was watching her, sitting on a branch that dangling over the water, he had been hidden by the leaves of the willow but as she had waded out into the water they had become visible to each other. Her hand was on her wand. It took her a few moments to make out who she was looking at, just because she hadn't been expecting him there. But then, she should have been, Andromeda had told them all he was there.

Draco Malfoy seemed perhaps even more shocked to see her than she was to see him. He stared at her for a long moment, and she had time to take in his loose white shirt and black trousers, that was at once casual and yet strangely formal to be wearing on a hot summers day by a lake. He finally seemed to come to and he raised himself up balancing gracefully on the branch as he walked back towards shore. Hermione watched him, she had still hovering over her wand, and even though she instinctively knew that he was no threat to her here. From the shore he turned up a path up the mountain to the side, heading further away from the hill. Hermione had enough time to see that he looked recovered, if not a little tired.

"Draco!" She shouted finding her voice.

Malfoy stopped but did not turn to her.

"I never thanked you. You... you distracted Voldermort from me." She said.

He did not respond. He just continued to walk away from her.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Hogwarts, Hermione had wondered how she would feel about returning to the castle, but as she saw it appearing out of woods she felt the same strange sense of excitement and relief that she had felt since first seeing it eight years previously.

The castle had largely been repaired, in many ways it looked like it always had, ancient and unmoving. Yet one side was still torn, Ravenclaw tower having not been rebuilt, the sides of the walls where it stood had been left open and jagged. And as they got closer and their carriages brought them closer to the castle she saw that the old bridge had been completely replaced with a new one, as had the doors. But it didn't matter, because it was home, and despite all the bad things that had happened here, lots of good had happened too. She'd found the place she belonged here, she'd met Harry, and Ron, and Ginny here, she'd won house points, and dated a sports star here.

The day had already been exhausting; there had been so many old friends to catch up with, and so many young unknown faces following them around. The whispers that followed Harry and the interest in him seemed invasive. It was going to be so much worse this year. Despite the arguments between her and Ron they stood firmly besides Harry, dodging questions and keeping him from having to face too much hassle all in one day.

Joining them in the carriage, were Ginny, Neville and Luna. Neville had come in proudly wearing the silver badge of head boy.

"Headboy?" Ron had asked, sounding insultingly flummoxed.

"Yeah." Neville had answered, his face turning maroon. "McGonagall paid us a visit in the middle of the summer. I said that I wouldn't be very good. But granny was so proud, I couldn't turn it down."

"Well done Neville, I'm sure you do deserve it." Hermione had said hugging him.

"Who's the head girl?"

"Hannah."

"Hannah?"

"Hannah Abbotts, from Hufflepuff. She was in the DA last year; she's brilliant with the younger students. I think that's why they chose her; the younger kids aren't intimidated by her."

Hermione felt the slight prickle of jealousy. She had been working towards head girl, hoping for it, but then other more important matters had taken over, hunting horcruxes for one. She had however received her prefects badge in the post earlier in the week, as had Ron.

They spent the rest of the train journey catching up. Neville had been particularly good to talk to, Hermione had never known a boy to be so open about his emotions, but he opened up about how hard he was finding the idea of going back to a place where he had seen friends die. He did not seem the same young man that they had known since an eleven year old; he had a new confidence, but thankfully, all his old kindness and loyalty. Though Hermione still did not fully know what had happened in Hogwarts the previous year, she had heard that Neville had stood up against the Carrows on numerous occasions, stepping in when they had been torturing younger students. As such he had gained a lot of respect from students and teachers alike, with a lot of the younger students looking up to him. She had also learnt that he and Luna were now an item, of sorts.

As they walked through the big doors of the castle Hermione saw the diminutive Professor Flitwick stood in front of the grand staircase.

"My dear students. Welcome back. We have missed you, and we are glad to see that so many of you have decided to come back. Professor McGonagall is welcoming the first years, so it has fallen on me to welcome you and give you an update. As I am sure you can tell Ravenclaw tower has yet to be repaired, Ravenclaw students have been housed on the third floor, which for some reason keeps switching places with the forth, but don't worry we will get it sorted. All other lessons will take place in their previous locations. What I would like to draw your attention to is the space in front of your feet. "

Everybody started to shuffle to the sides, trying to see the space just in front of the floor that Flitwick was indicating, for the first time Hermione noticed the cursive scrawl on the floor. Flitwick flicked is wand and the writing lit up in gold making it clear for them all to see.

"Here, just inside the doors that they died to protect, are the names of the fifty people who lost their lives a few short months ago. Their names shall remain here as long as this school stands."

There were a few audible sniffs from the crowd, and Hermione felt her eyes well up.

"We will all find time to mourn, but right now, there is a new generation of Hogwarts students waiting to be sorted. Let's go and give them a good welcome."

There were a few 'here here's', and a polite short round of clapping, and they filed into the hall.

Hermione seated herself at the Gryffindor table, between Harry and Neville, Ron was seated on the other side of Harry, refusing to look at her.

"Is Draco not a prefect anymore?" Neville whispered loudly to her and Harry.

Hermione looked over to the table, it took her a moment to locate Draco, he was not sat at his usual place near the front of the room, with Crabbe and Goyle. But Crabbe was now deceased, she reminded herself, and Goyle was sat with Zabini, who was wearing a shining silver badge on his robes. Draco, was sat at the far end of the hall, with the second years, and as far as Hermione could see he had no badge.

"I guess Deatheaters don't get to be prefects." Harry said.

Hermione gave a little hum, and watched as the sorting hat began its song. But she couldn't concentrate, not through the song, or through the sorting. She kept finding herself glancing towards Draco. Sat between the second years and the joining first years, he was still and quiet as everybody around him cheered, and joked. Why was he there? Why was he not with his friends? Was it by choice? Or was something else going on?

"Looks like you've got quite a handful this year." Neville said to her. Hermione looked at him blankly, he pointed up at the young boy coming down the steps to join their table. He was greeted by another three first years who slapped him on the back. They looked smug and confident; Hermione had remembered how she had felt when she had been sorted. She hadn't felt at all confident, she had been worried; she knew that for the next seven years people would judge her on which house she was in. Secretly she had wanted Ravenclaw, but had been reasonably pleased with Gryffindor, though for the first few months she had wondered if maybe it had been a mistake.

Two hours later and the gigantic welcoming meal was finally over. They had eaten their fill, they had listened to the list of rules and warnings, this year ones telling them to stay away from the ruins of the Ravenclaw tower. They had welcomed Professor McGonagall as the new headmistress, with cheers from all the tables but most significantly Gryffindor. They had listened to a haunting piece of music written in remembrance of those who had died the previous year. Finally they had welcomed their new Professors. First, Professor Tenebris, a slim and pointed nose young man whose eyes seemed to dart around rapidly, was introduced as defence against dark arts teacher.

"I wonder if the curse has lifted? " Neville whispered across Hermione.

"They must really be scrapping the barrel, that guy looks like he couldn't handle a lame Gnome let alone a Deatheater."

"He was the youngest Hogwarts student to win Hogwarts duelling championship." Hermione said, annoyed that they boy had decided to leave her out of the conversation.

"There isn't a Hogwarts duelling championship."

"It was stopped ten years ago."

"Oh, and where was the Tenabra guy in the war hey?" Ron shot back.

"Tenebris, the club was for fifth years and up, he got a special dispensation to join in when he was a second year, and he won. I don't know where he's been the last year."

"See you don't know everything." Ron said.

"I never claimed to know everything, Ron."

"Will you two shut up?" Harry said. "They just introduced the new potions master."

Hermione looked up and saw a diminutive middle aged blonde woman give a little bow and a sweet smile.

"Will the prefects please gather at the front of your tables, first years go to your prefects they will show you the way to your dorm rooms where all of your belonging will be waiting for you."

Hermione got up and went to the front. She felt unusually tired and heavy, she just wanted the day to be over. She wanted to rest, and for classes to start, so that she could just bury herself in her work and forget Ron, forget the battle, forget that her Mum, half a world away was pregnant with a child she hadn't even thought of a year previously. She wanted normality, or whatever passed for normality in her life.

She gathered the eight new Gryffindors, counting twice to be sure she'd got it right, and cursing herself for not paying more attention to their names at sorting. She looked around for Ron who was supposed to be helping her, but over the crowd exiting the hall she saw a familiar red head disappearing. She waved for them to follow her and proceeded to led them out the main hall and up the grand staircase, filling them in on all the usual information about dorms, and lunch times, and class schedules.

"Try to get some sleep, tomorrow will be busy. You will get lost, but ask any of the older students and I'm sure they'll point you in the right way. But do try to remember where the hospital wing is, there are a lot of injuries in the first month, many of you won't really know how to aim your wand yet. There's going to be a lot of stray spells."

There was whispering as they stopped on a landing, waiting for the west stairs to swing round to them, as Hermione turned round she saw that one of the smaller girls was looking upset. She reached into her memory to try and remember who the little girl was; she pulled the name Anna out.

"Everything alright back there?"

There were some nods, Hermione decided to call the girl over later and check that she was okay.

She continued.

"Jump over this one, fifth up, it likes to turn to jelly sometimes. It can really trip you up. The password usually changes on the first of every month, look for a prefect to tell you what it is. This is the fat lady."

"I've lost weight!" The fat lady said.

Hermione doubted that paint could lose weight, but she smiled anyways.

"You can tell, did you change your hair?"

"Oh, it's the flower, I got it from the garden painting that use to hang near Ravenclaw tower."

"Lily of the Valley."

"No dear, it's a rose."

"I mean the password."

"Oh yes."

The painting sprung forwards. Hermione stepped through the hole; she looked back and watched as the eight tiny students clambered through, she had forgotten how tricky the two foot step had been when she had first arrived at Hogwarts, had she really been that small? Had they all really been that unsure of themselves?

"Ronald?"

She saw a familiar red head walk forwards.

"Sorry boys, I had something to see to."

"What?" Hermione asked.

"It's none of your business. So, boys, shall we head up to the dorm room, I'll answer any questions you have."

Hermione took a deep breath, she knew that he was not going to give them any useful information; he was probably just going to share with them his theory on how the bloody baron got so bloody, and how to smuggle in fanged Frisbees. She could not get stressed out though, she had to take the girls upstairs and prepare them for the next day.

"Girls." She said waving them over. She led them up the stairs explaining to them what would happen if boys tried to get up. Two girls at the back giggled, the other two rolled their eyes, Anna still looked upset.

"Girls head on in, your trunks will be by your bed, why don't you go in and find which one's yours. I'll be along in a moment."

Hermione waved Anna over and waited for the other four girls to go into the room.

"So, what's been happening?" She asked.

"Nothing."

"You're upset, and you've only been here for two hours, so I'm wondering what's been happening in that time."

"The others were talking about where people had died, they said there had been a big battle, and they said that somebody had died in that corner half way up the stairs. They said he had been ripped apart by a werewolf."

"No, Bill did get attacked by a werewolf, but he's not dead, and it wasn't there. It's true that people did die. You didn't know?"

"No. I'm not a witch."

"You're muggle born?"

She nodded.

"But you are a witch, because you're here. I'm muggle born too. I know how hard it is to come in to a new culture and not to understand what's going on. It won't always be like this. Now, I think the best thing to do is to get in there before the other girls notice you're gone, and to just come find me sometime tomorrow and I'll fill you in on some band names and quidditch players that you can drop into conversation."

Anna smiled, and nodded.

"Thank you."

She followed Anna into the dorm room.

"So." She began looking at the girls sat on their beds. "Now is the time to ask all those questions that you haven't had the chance to ask."

The girls hesitated, she had remembered the ridiculous rumours that she had had to put to rest with the last bunch of first years she had dealt with, she was expecting something along the same lines.

"Don't be shy."

"You're Hermione Granger." One of the girls said. She was dark skinned with wide eyes and plaited hair.

Hermione gave a short nod.

"Yes, I introduced myself earlier."

"But you're Harry Potter's friend. I've heard of you, you went missing with him last year, and you were in the battle of Hogwarts."

Four girls were staring at her intently; Anna however was just looking slightly confused. Hermione signed, she had not expected this amount of notoriety with the younger students.

"Yes, Harry is my friend, and most people at Hogwarts who are over seventeen were involved with the battle of Hogwarts."

"Did you see Fenir Greyback?"

"Fenir Greyback was an awful human being."

"I thought he was a werewolf."

"Werewolves are human too, a good friend of mine was a werewolf, he was on the good side."

"But like, I heard he tried to eat people even when he wasn't a werewolf."

"That's true."

"And Harry Potter killed he who should not be named."

"His name was Tom Riddle, and yes, that's what happened."

"How?" Another girl asked.

"It's complicated, his mother had given her life to protect him and that had created a strong magical protection."

"But what spell? Was it the killing spell?"

Hermione found herself getting annoyed.

"Last year, we all went through a lot. I know that some of you will have lost people too, but a lot of us here at Hogwarts were on the first line, we did things and saw things that we never expected to do at our age. We ended up soldiers before we had even graduated, and we saw our friends die. People are going to get offended if you ask to many questions, its okay to want to know what happened, but not the details of how people died. Because those people, were out friends, our allies, our teachers, and yes, our enemies, and all of their deaths haunt us."

There was silence as her words sunk in.

"I'm going to go to bed now, but I you think of any relevant questions about the school you can find me tomorrow and I'll try to answer them. I'll meet you downstairs in the common room tomorrow at seven thirty to take you to breakfast and direct you to your morning classes."

The girls didn't say a word as Hermione left them sat there, she knew it was their first night and they were excited, but she had felt it necessary to tell them off. People dying, even Voldemort, should not be the focus of preteen gossip.

There was still talk and laughter as she walked into the common room, people welcoming their friends. Hermione looked around hoping that Harry would still be up, but she could not see him, nor was Ginny there. She nodded at Neville, and her eyes skimmed over the red haired boy next to him, deliberately trying not to see him standing there, as she turned to go back up stairs to get an early night somebody called her name.

"Hermione."

She turned, recognising the voice but not quite believing it was there. She turned to the red haired boy, it wasn't Ron.

"George? George, what are you doing here?"

She found herself wrapped in an awkward hug.

"I thought about what you said." He said quietly into her ear. Pulling away he gave a smile. "McGogglie let me come back, I'm going to graduate."

"You're back for the whole year?"

"No, just till Christmas."

"But, what about the shop?"

"I've got somebody watching it. But I thought that if I came back here I would get some new ideas. I mean, I'm in amongst my clients. Besides." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "I think I'll be able to find him here, and learn to be myself again, do you know what I mean?"

"Sort of, but I'm really happy to see you here. I think it's a brilliant idea to graduate, and I'm going to help you with the exams in any way that I can."

"Thanks Hermione."

"Were you on the train? I didn't see you."

"No, I used the floo network. I had some last minute problems to sort out. It's all been a bit of a rush really."

"But Harry and.. and Ron, they know you're here?"

"Nope, I'm trying to figure out the best way to surprise them. Seeing as they're going to be my roommates I was thinking I might transfigure myself, pretend to be a foreign exchange student and see how long it takes them to figure it out."

Hermione gave a little hum, she wasn't sure if she would trust George to transfigure himself without doing some damage.

"Do you have any polyjuice potion lying around?"

"I'll have you know that I'm fantastic at transfiguration."

"Okay, well, just get rid of the hair."

"Too much of a give away?"

"Definitely."

"How long do you think I'll have till Ron comes down?"

"Well, seeing as he's telling stories about Hogwarts I'm guessing about five hours. He's probably recounting every goal he ever saved."

"Nah, he's probably telling everybody that he was the brains behind Harry's attack on Voldemort."

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"To his credit, he did pull through at last minute."

George gave her a quizzical look.

"So, is there still a chance for you two, not that I'm prying, it's just, you would make a better sister in law than Madame Fleur Le Flounce."

"I think that's the biggest compliment you've ever given me."

George shrugged.

"I'm getting soppy in my old age. Are you deliberately avoiding the question?"

"Yes." Hermione said. "I'm glad you're here, I'm going to go to bed. Don't blow anything up, every bodies nerves are a little frazzled at the moment."

Georges smile faltered for a moment.

"I know." He said seriously. "Goodnight Hermione."

She gave George a half wave and headed up to her dorm room. She was slightly shocked when she got up there to find that there was a staircase in the middle of the floor that had never been there before. There were four beds in the room and on them were sat four girls, sixth years that Hermione recognised and could name, but little more.

"I'm sorry; I'm in the wrong dorm."

"No, you're not." One of the girls piped up. Hermione knew the girl to be called Jennifer; she was in Ginny's year.

"I'm a seventh year. " Hermione explained confused.

"So are we, last year we were sixth years, this year we're seventh years. Fay and Eloise from your group are upstairs, Ginny decided to go up there too as there were only four beds down here."

Hermione slowly climbed the spiral stairs.

"Hermione, we're roomies." She heard Ginny shout as she got to the top.

"Hi Ginny, Eloise, Fay. Did you have a good holiday?"

"It was alright." Fay replied.

She had never been close with either of her roommates, but they had been generally on friendly terms. She smiled at Ginny weakly.

"So, eight seventh year Gryffindor girls?"

"Yeah, I'm guessing they're going to be splitting classes. We've got so much to catch up on; I barely learnt anything last year."

There was a general grumble of consensus around the room.

"You look exhausted." Ginny said, giving her a scrutinising look.

"I'm going to get an early night." Hermione replied starting to get changed. "Oh, by the way, George is downstairs, he's going to disguise himself as a foreign exchange student to trick Ron and Harry."

"George? What's he doing here?"

"Graduating, apparently."

Ginny looked at her in wide eyed shock, and then rushed down the stairs to confront her brother.

Hermione never found out how that went, as she was asleep the instant her head hit the pillow.

The next day passed in a frustrated and rushed mess. Having spent a year out of school Hermione found herself feeling out of sync. She had all the books, she had all the quills, she was ready to listen, but she found the huge amount of information on the NEWTS a little overwhelming. Ron and Harry always assumed that academia came easily to Hermione, it didn't, it was hard work and determination. Whilst they played exploding snap, and practiced quidditch, Hermione spent long hours doing extra reading in the library. As it was, she had a feeling that she wasn't going to be doing extra reading this year, there was just too much workload- she didn't know how she was going to keep on top of it.

After dinner Hermione had headed back to the common room, but stopped halfway through the portrait hole as she saw Ron sat with his arm around two sixth years.

"Yeah, I saved Harry's life a couple of times. The last time he was drowning, the pool was freezing, but at times like that, I don't think. I just react."

The girls seemed to be hanging on his every word.

Annoyed Hermione turned around and walked straight into a tall black haired man she'd never seen before. Or had she?

"George?"

"Giorgios, I am a foreign exchange student from Greece."

"Seriously? They don't know it's you yet?"

"I think Harry suspects; but I spent the entire of lunchtime sat next to Ron discussing English quidditch teams, insulting the Chudley Cannons, and he still hasn't got a clue."

Hermione stepped aside to let him passed. She paused on the other side of the portrait hole; she hadn't decided where to go. Suddenly she knew what she wanted to do, she had to read, but she wanted to go to the lake. She juggled the books in her arms and headed out, she figured that she had an hour of sunlight left – and she had three chapters of dark arts to read before the next day.

She knew just the place to sit, there was a grassy hillock on the south side of the lake, it had a nice shady tree at the top of it which would mean that the her page would be shaded and easier to read. As she approached she could see that somebody was already sitting there, near the tree on the hillock, but given how her day was going she wasn't going to let that be a deterrent, even when she saw that it was Malfoy. She walked passed him, deliberately not looking at him and seated herself a few meters away, and opened her book.

He didn't talk till she was seven pages in.

"What is it with you and lakes Granger?"

"I like the stillness."

She went back to ignoring him, it used to be the case that she would never be in the same place as him, but she'd really had enough of their childish games, there wars of years gone by now seemed silly and childish, they knew real war now.

"I'm not leaving this time." He spat angrily.

Hermione had not expected him to speak to her. She looked up at him, he looked annoyed.

"I'm not leaving either, so we'll just have to both manage to sit here without killing each other."

He gave a little huff.

Hermione looked carefully at him, always slim Malfoy had lost a lot of weight in the previous few years, making him look rather gaunt and hollow. But he did not seem quite as pales as usual. Hermione surmised that he'd actually been getting a little sun. She had thought that like herself he had been reading a book, but now that she was looking directly at him she saw he was reading a letter, and in his hand were a couple of photos. She leaned closer to see. The photos were of Teddy.

"How is he?"

Malfoy looked up at her, she was expecting a sneer and a sharp word or two, but he just looked back down at the photos.

"You know, I think a lot of people would like to see those photos."

"Potter can get his own bloody photos."

"Not Harry, I meant the teachers. They all knew Lupin, either as a teacher or as a member of the order of the phoenix. They'd probably like to know that his son is doing well."

"Well they can get their own bloody photos too."

"They mean a lot to you then. Those photos? I mean, it's one day in and you've already received a letter with photo's in, so I'm guessing your aunt thought you'd really miss Teddy."

"Piss off Granger."

"Hit a raw nerve did I? What is it? After all these year you finally have a heart? You finally care about somebody other than yourself?"

"Fine! Take the fucking photos if it makes you happy. They mean nothing to me."

Jumping up, Malfoy threw the photos angrily at Hermione's face. They hit her sharply on the nose. She watched as he angrily stalked away. For some reason, that she didn't quite understand, she felt a little ashamed of herself. Draco had said much worse to her than she had said to him, but it felt like the rules were changing.


	7. Chapter 7

Hermione watched as Ron gurgled down chocolate cereal, milk dribbling down his chin and getting caught in the short ginger hairs that were starting to poke through. Honestly, sometimes she wondered why she had spent four years trying to get his attention, the rest of the time she spent confused over the jumble of feelings she felt towards him. Sighing inwardly, she finished her porridge, grabbed a banana and headed towards the door. As she did, she saw Draco entering the hall, he looked at the Slytherin table, pausing for a moment he headed towards the front where Goyle and Blaise. She watched as he pulled out the sat next to Blaise, only as Blaise hooked his foot under the chair to stop it from moving. He looked up at Draco, though she could not hear his words she could see the cold look in his eyes, and Draco's cheeks redden. Draco turned on his heels and stormed back towards the door. Hermione speed up, trying to act like she hadn't seen anything.

"Hey, Draco! Turns out you're not so popular now you haven't got your Daddy's money." Ron's voice shouted out across the mumbles and laughter of the hall. There was a hushed silence that let Hermione know half the room had heard.

She turned back, not able to help herself. Draco was staring furiously at Ron. Hermione was about to tell Ron exactly what she thought of him, when Draco turned and looked directly at her. They stood meters apart looking at each other. Then Draco stormed straight past her.

* * *

Hermione knocked on professor Sprouts door.

"Come in!"

Hermione opened the door, Sprouts office was a large brick built shed built onto the back of greenhouse three. There was a rush of unseasonably hot and damp air as she walked in. She couldn't see Sprout at first, she had to make her way through several ferns and inch past a snoring narcolepsy lily.

"Professor?"

"Miss Granger."

Hermione jumped as a large purple hat appeared from behind a bush, quickly followed by Professor Sprout.

"My girl, it's been a while since I've seen you. Are you wanting to try for the Herbology Newt after all? You'd be a year behind, but I'm sure you could catch up."

"No Professor, this is just a social visit."

"In that case, I'll make us both a gingseng root tea."

"Thank you."

"So, what can I do for you?" Professor Sprout asked a few minutes later as they both settled down on the comfortable armchairs on either side of the desk.

Hermione reached into her pocket and got out the photos.

"I know that you were close to Professor Lupin."

A sudden sadness entered Sprouts eyes.

"Since he was a boy, before I came to Hogwarts I worked with his father."

"I'm sorry." Hermione said. "I just thought you might want to see these photos, they're of Theodore."

"Theodore Lupin." Sprouts usual jolly mood seemed to return. "Let's see them."

Hermione handed over the photos, she tried not to look to closely at Sprout. She was scared of the range of emotions that the woman was showing, Hermione had far too many of her own emotions to feel somebody else's as well.

"Gosh, he is all Lupin, isn't he? Except the nose, that's Nymphadora's – her original that is, though she never wore it. And the hair, blue, I guess that he's inherited her abilities. She wore her hair that colour on her first week of Hogwarts but long and down her back. Is that Mr Malfoy?"

"Yes." Hermione said trying to avoid looking at the photo of the tow cousins together.

"Well, I always thought he had a sweet side in him somewhere. His father, he was a weak boy. He was always too influenced by the Black crowd, and others. Thank you for showing me these Miss Granger. It means a lot to me. I guess I will be teaching a whole new generation in eleven years."

"Yes, hopefully a generation that never has to know war before they know a first day of work."

"Miss Granger?"

"I have to go. I have first period."

Sprout nodded, she walked Hermione out ofthe greenhouse.

"Miss Granger, I went through two wars. You can still find a little good in every day, you just have to look harder on some days than others."

Hermione thanked her for the tea. She didn't trust herself to reply any further.

* * *

Hermione was trying to concentrate on her Welsh rarebit and soup. She'd decided to sit with the first years for lunch, she had told Harry that it was because she wanted to see how they were settling in. She could tell he knew she wasn't being truthful, but good friends sometimes let you get away with lies. She could see him sometimes looking down the table at her, but she was trying to concentrate on her Welsh rarebit and soup. The first years were mainly talking over themselves, all excitement and energy, apparently somebody had blown up a table in one of the first classes, and so Hermione only needed to throw the odd comment their way every five minutes.

Yes, she was trying to concentrate on her Welsh Rarebit and soup, but he was also sitting with first year, directly across from her. She could see most of him from between a group of Ravenclaws, who were now shooting her rather odd looks. Odd looks didn't really matter to Hermione, she had dealt with a lot worse over the years. He wasn't looking at her though, he was looking at his food, and only his food. As she watched one of the first years next to him timidly asked him a question, he visibly sighed but seemed to answer it. Salad, he was eating salad. She had never known a teenage boy to willingly eat salad. Hogwarts provided salad for them every lunch time, but Hermione knew from Hagrid that most of it ended up feeding his various animals. Yes, teenage girls went on and off diets all the time, and there's no doubt that there would be complaints if it was taken off the menu, but most of the time it just sat in large bowls in the middle of the table untouched.

"Miss Granger."

Hermione snapped out of her musings and looked over at the first year who had been trying to get her attention.

"Sorry, what was the question?"

"Are any of us going to be able to do any magic by the end of the week?"

"Yes, most of you would have been able to have moved something in some direction or changed something to a different colour."

"Are we going to be changing things to a different colour?" Another girl asked excitedly.

"Well, that's not what the lessons are supposed to be about, but it seems to be a common accident in the first weeks. Just try not to turn any parts of yourself to a different colour, it takes weeks to wear off."

"Does doing magic ever become less cool, like do you get used to it at some stage?"

"Yes, when you realise that despite all the power you've been given you're still completely powerless to change the way people think and feel, to stop discrimination, to save the people you love from pain." Hermione stopped herself when she looked back at the first-year girls staring open mouthed at her. "But, it's always fun when you discover a new spell you didn't know about before." She said with a bright false smile. "I've got a lot of studying to do." She pushed her dish away from her and made her way out of the hall.

"Professor McGonagall? I hoped to catch you before the end of lunch. I realize you must be busy."

"Yes, always busy now, but the day when I am too busy for my students is the day when I quit."

* * *

Hermione walked timidly into the headteachers office – not the proper headteachers office, but the office Professor McGonagall l had always occupied. It was not as tidy as it had always been though, there were books and parchments laying in odd piles on the floor, Hermione dodged between the piles and over to McGonagall's desk.

"How are you settling in?" McGonagall asked looking up over her glasses.

"It's strange. It's like it's not home anymore."

McGonagall nodded.

"But, I am determined to finish my education."

"So, how can I help?"

"You can't. I mean, I didn't come here for help. I just.." She hesitated as she reached into her pocket and drew out the photos.

"I thought you might appreciate seeing these."

McGonagall took the photos off her, her expression barely changing as she flicked through the photos.

"So, traumatising, to lose your family. And yet to manage to show a little kindness, I think he has some strength that he's not yet aware of."

"I don't think Teddy is aware that he lost his parents." Hermione said startled.

"I was not talking of Theodore Lupin." She laid the photos on the desk between them. Hermione looked at the photo at the top, the one she had only glanced at before. She had seen it was of Young Teddy with his much older cousin, but she had tried not to see the way Malfoy in the photo was talking calmly to the infant whilst offering him a toy owl. Kindness? Is that what McGonagall saw there? There was definitely a look Hermione had not seen before on the boy's face, something more relaxed than his usual look of disgust, but was it kindness? A photo, even a wizarding one doesn't tell a whole story, it just captures one moment of it.

"Don't you have potions lessons starting Miss Granger?" Professor McGonagall asked. "You shouldn't be late for your first class with Professor Ricinus."

Hermione nodded in agreement, she picked up the photos and rushed through the door and down the stairs to the potions room. She arrived breathless to find that though she was the last person the new professor had yet to arrive. She looked around the room, Harry raised his hand and she nodded at him, he wasn't who she was looking to. It took her a minute to find Draco, stood on his own at the back of the classroom instead of with the group of Slytherins at the front.

He glanced up at her as she walked over, but immediately focused his eyes back on unpacking his books from a satchel.

"I'm sorry." She said holding out the photos.

"Bugger off Granger."

"I didn't mean to draw the same old lines in the sand. It's time we got over the old rivalries."

Malfoy grabbed the photos off her.

"It's not a rivalry Granger, it's a hierarchy, you're at the bottom and I'm.."

"FREEZE!"

They all jumped at the American voice shouting across the room, and automatically thirty pairs of eyes turned to the front of the room. The diminutive blonde professor was stood at the front.

"Sorry." She apologised. "I've always had a flair for the dramatic, and poisons. I'm Professor Ricinus, your new potions master. And you're first assignment is going to be an epic two-month long gruel to make one of the rarest and most complicated potions in history. But, there's more, you are going to be working in teams. And because this year our theme is house cooperation we're going to have Gryffindors teamed with Slytherins. So, look around you, Gryffindors the Slytherin closest to you is going to be your partner for the next two months! You are going to have to spend a lot of time with them, so I suggest that you socialise, get to know each other on a personal level."

It was clear from the expressions on every students face that getting to know each other on a personal level was to them on the same level as getting intimate with a fluey flubberworm.

Hermione looked around, she must be closer to another Slytherin, or maybe she could shuffle a bit? Draco caught her eye and sneered. "You've done it now Granger."

* * *

Yep, I went with that old story line of forced to work together - but don't see it as old – see it as a classic, like Sherlock or Pride and Prejudice, something that can be done over and over in many ways and occasionally ends up brilliant…. I hope. Has this really been over a year! Opps! Wellm back to it now.


End file.
